Friday, July 27, 2007

It's cute. Really. But also kinda sad and kinda creepy.

So there is a cat in a nursing home in the U.S. that predicts patient deaths and curls up with them for the final couple of hours before they die. Everyone thinks it is so cute and remarkable, and aren't cats the most amazing, thoughtful creatures?

I love my cats. I adore my cats. I would save my cats before I saved myself, probably, although that is kinda stupid. But I also know cats. I know they are selfish, and driven towards certain things - food, warmth, and a clean litter box (or a means of getting outside to do their bidness). Cats don't really love their owners, as much as I'd like to think they do. Sure, they purr and cuddle and act all nice, but deep down inside they are actually space aliens sent to Earth to collect data on humans and, whenever possible, work toward the eventual elimination of all human and dog life. Has your cat ever cut in front of you on the stairs or walking down the hall? Do they bite and scratch even when they seem to want to be petted? Do they sleep on your chest, facing your face, staring at you so deeply you wake up with a start and feel slightly weak, as if part of your soul had been taken away? Do they ever stand on your nightstand or above your headboard, dropping things on you, ostensibly to wake you up so you will give them food? To male owners, has your cat ever stepped on your balls? I rest my case.

So when these people think it is all nice and pleasant and sweet that little Oscar is curling up to "comfort" dying patients, they are terribly, horribly wrong. What they don't realize is that the little rascal is just waiting, ready, to suck the soul out of the dying corpse before it can make its way to heaven (or hell, or wherever souls go when we die, hey, I'm open to suggestions).

I know this. I'm not fooled by their purring and cuddling and head butting and drooling. Nope.


Rositta said...

I read that story this morning in the paper, it's kind of creepy. I saw once a documentary about a dog who could tell who had cancer and who didn't way before it was diagnosed. I guess animals do have sixth sense...ciao, stay cool.

bryan-in-greece said...

I don't imagine there are many people in that nursing home too willing to call out "Hey puddy puddy"... :-)

Flubberwinkle said...

I think Oscar is enjoying himself, playing "spin the rooms, choose the next sure-fire victim".

After 25 winning guesses, don't the nursing home officials think they should remove the feline Grim Reaper?

I mean, I'd die of fright, if I saw Oscar snuggling in MY bed and knowing what HE knows even if I was healthy.