Boob alert

A British men's magazine is taking some heat for a contest offering 5,800 euros for breast implants for the winner's girlfriend. The ad for the contest says:

"Make your lady a more rounded individual with our feel-good, selfless, world-first competition."

Men can even choose the size of breast they like best from an A cup to a G cup. The British Advertising Standards Community has come down on the magazine, stating that breast augmentation surgery is potentially harmful and the contest is irresponsible. The public outcry centers on the fact that it encourages women to get plastic surgery.

In their defense, the editors claim it is "just a suggestion" and that winners can do whatever they want with the money.

I've stated my position on plastic surgery before. Even though I don't approve, I'm not going to say that this magazine shouldn't offer such a contest. But I really would have to hope that the winner would not pressure his girlfriend to have the plastic surgery, unless it is something she wanted already. And if she didn't, I would hope she has the nerve to tell her boyfriend off. There are enough things wrong with this world without people worrying about what they look like.

May the day keep getting better

After falling asleep around 7:30 am, and my tired husband coming home after a fatiguing 24 hour shift and falling into bed at 1:30 pm, we slept until 5:30 pm. I actually love getting up late in the day, I don't really know why. Maybe my brain is on backwards. Obviously, this type of schedule does nothing for a normal workday or getting errands done, but there is something kind of magical about getting up as the sun is starting to set.

What do my eyes see as soon as I awaken? Harriet Miers' withdrawal from the judicial nomination. I was actually looking for news about the Plame case indictments, but this will do, for now. You might ask why I am so eager for indictments, well, I just like to see corrupt government getting what it deserves. Obviously, I would prefer that such things never happened at all, that the Bush regime was as pure as the driven snow, but I'm not that stupid.

Between corruption at home and corruption in Greece I'm not sure which end is up.

Those crazy goats

I can't sleep, and everything about the world seems to be depressing me right now. So to lighten myself up, and anyone else who might be feeling blue, check out these "fainting" goats.

It is good for a laugh or two.

How many Greeks does it take to change a light bulb?

Tonight is my husband's first overnight shift in the hospital here in Thessaloniki. It has been some months since he had a 24 hour shift, the last one in Litochoro was back in April. We had gotten used to this lack of separation for long periods of time, even though his first couple of years seemed to have frequent 24 hour shifts and it will only get worse from here. Still, we enjoy spending time together and hate spending time apart, I suppose this is a feeling leftover from having to part each other's company so many times while I still lived in the U.S. Those were bad times.

I am generally pretty self sufficient, except when it comes to heavy things and high things. And by high things I mean cupboards, closets, things of that nature. I'm short (5 ft. 2, no idea how that translates to centimeters) and unsteady on a stepstool (I have a terrible sense of balance) so pretty much everything I need on a daily basis needs to be within arm's reach.

Today, of course, the light bulb in the bedroom ceiling fixture had to burn out. Not that it is a crucial light, but I can't see to do anything without that overhead light, because our bedside lamps are more like spotlights. Opening the window serves no purpose after noon, because for some reason the back of the building is incredibly dark most of the day. So, here I was, wanting to vacuum, but no way to see what I was doing. I thought about attempting the change myself, but thanks to the fact that Greek apartment buildings always have rather high ceilings, at my height I couldn't even reach the bulb on the stepstool, not to mention I had a vision of one of those horrific accidents you have when you are alone (thank you, Six Feet Under) and the cats feeding on my corpse when my husband arrives home from work tomorrow. So what is a girl to do?

Why, call in reinforcements of course. Reinforcements being my youngest brother-in-law. Apparently, however, it is illegal for people under the age of 25 to change light bulbs in Greece (this is by the code of mom laws), so my nearly 17 year old brother-in-law arrived accompanied by my father-in-law to participate in Mission: Lightbulb Change. It took all of about 30 seconds since I had the stepladder and light bulb all ready.

I felt a bit of a fool to have had a federal case made over a simple light bulb change, but in the end, I am glad to know that I have in-laws who are there for me. I wonder, though, if I can press charges against my parents for letting me change light bulbs at the young age of 13.

If it's feta, it MUST be Greek

The European Court yesterday granted Greece the sole right to the name feta cheese, after a lengthy battle in which countries like Denmark and Germany were battling for the right to call some of their white cheeses feta. The label feta cheese is now considered Protected Designation of Origin (PDO), and can only be used for cheese made from sheep and goat's milk, produced in Greece by special super secret recipes, modes of production, and certain geographic conditions.

A few folks are quite pissed off by this ruling, but still, I have to tend to agree that feta should indeed be Greek in origin. Go to any restaurant in America, and what do you find? The mere addition of feta cheese to any dish instantly makes it a Greek dish! It is amazing how easy it is to cross the cultural divide of food by a simple ingredient. By this measure, it would seem that Americans think all Greek dishes contain feta. Ok, maybe that is only partially true. Actually, some cooks use it more than others, and it is often found on a Greek table much like Americans have butter on their table.

I confess that personally, I am not horribly fond of feta. In small amounts, in certain dishes, it is fine, but too much feta always gives me some sort of horrid gastrointestinal problem. I suppose I haven't yet developed enough of a Greek constitution to be able to handle it.

Anyway, congrats to the Greeks for the sole use of feta. You might wanna step up production, however, because I anticipate there will be lots of demand. At least for those American "Greek" dishes.

For what it's worth

I was sad to hear of Rosa Parks’ death today, although I am sure she is one individual who got the absolute most out of her 92 years. It is a tragedy when these people who forged a path for equal rights in America die, because we lose a living memory of the way things were. Seemingly, Ms. Parks did a simple thing – she refused to move because she felt she had just as much right as any other human being to sit where she wanted. But her “civil disobedience” was a resounding cry heard around America, teaching us, reminding us, that people are people, no matter what race, sexuality, religion, culture, gender – the list can go on and on.

Recently, it seems I have been inundated from all sides with racial hatred. From the ubiquitousness of media and blog stories about the so-called Prussian Blue twins, issues of American immigration, and the concerns of Greek nationalists about the increasing numbers of immigrants and the decline of Greek blood (for examples of ongoing Greek arguments, read the posts and comments found on this link in Seawitch’s blog). It saddens me, this suggestion that some people are in some way better than others. That some bloodlines deserve propagation more than others. That the dying of the white, European race would mark the decline of mankind. That miscegenation is considered “anti-evolutionary”. That immigrants from certain areas of the world don’t deserve a better life, a better chance, in European or American society.

What dictated this white supremacist notion? What made the white man decide that he was better than anyone else? Is it because, seemingly, Europe flourished in civilization before Africa? That Africans and American Indians were trusting enough of the white man they allowed themselves to be enslaved and overtaken by him? That the white man was willing to forsake all semblance of humanity to conquer the world and take it’s resources?

I am willing to concede that immigration has taken its toll on America and European countries. The burden of these refugees should be a world problem, not beset on each individual country by decrees of the so-called “United Nations”. We should do more to advance and make peace in these suffering countries, so fewer people feel the need to flee. We should do more to prosecute the people who exploit the hungry and the desperate, taking all their money for a long journey across seas they may not survive. We should do more to provide countries with resources and funds to help house asylum seekers, instead of asking already cash-poor countries to do it on their own. We should work harder to find the best solutions, instead of publishing reports on what immigrant receiving countries are doing wrong.

In terms of evolution and anti-evolution, how can we be so sure that the blending of all races and peoples isn’t what is intended? Perhaps we need to mix the best and worse of the world all together to make the human race as strong as it can possibly be to face an uncertain future. We know, scientifically, that procreation within a family makes for weaker genes. Look at how weak some breeds of dogs get when constantly bred amongst each other. Perhaps, then, miscegenation makes for stronger genes. At any rate, how can we possibly know for sure? Perhaps the propagation of the white race will lead to our demise, not our strength.

For the white supremacists, who might call me a “Jew lover” or a “nigger lover” or a “chink lover”, why do you say that as if it is an insult? Since when has having love and compassion for another human being been a negative thing? It is love and compassion that will save the world, not hate. Your hate will destroy us all.

May we all remember the words and actions of Rosa Parks, and think, in turn, about how we treat others.

“Speaking in 1992, Mrs Parks said of her famous bus protest: "The real reason of my not standing up was I felt that I had a right to be treated as any other passenger. We had endured that kind of treatment for too long."

Don't be too hasty, guys

A 31-year-old Brazilian woman has filed an official complaint against her 38-year-old partner at the police station in Jundiai, stating that he is selfish in bed. Apparently, like many men, he doesn't cater to her needs, only his own.

Normally this is cause to seek counselling or find a new partner, but hey, it is criminal, ask any woman!

Don't get milk

Major League Baseball is not happy with the latest Got Milk? ad campaign, which features players getting nabbed for using a performance enhancing substance which turns out to be milk. It seems that MLB finds this a painful jab at players who have been found using steroids, and thinks it is wrong to parody a serious issue.

"There is nothing humorous about steroid abuse,'' said Tim Brosnan, executive vice president for business for the league. "I would think that the California Milk Processor Board and their advertising agency would know better regarding an issue that threatens America's youth.''

Geez buddy, lighten up! I found the commercials cute and surprisingly appropriate. In fact, I think it encourages America's youth to use milk as a "performance enhancing substance", which isn't a bad thing.

Steve Stone, the president and creative director of San Francisco ad agency Heat, said there actually is something humorous in the steroid scandal -- the slap-on-the wrist suspensions major league officials imposed.

"In a way, the way MLB handled the situation gives permission to make fun of it," he said. "And I think these spots are pretty funny. ... It's a very smart way to evolve the campaign and make it incredibly current and relevant.''

I agree. Good for them. And shame on you, Major League Baseball! Drink more milk. It will make you less bitchy.

Random exclamations

The wind machine is a pretty incredible piece of technology. Where would 80's videos be without it?

Supersex me!

According to an article in today’s Tennessean, the number one reason teachers lose their licenses in Tennessee is due to sexual misconduct. There were 35 sex-related revocations since 2003, which is 35 too many. Educators are now concerned that people who resign due to sex related accusations are falling outside of the radar.

New rules passed by the state board last week would also allow for administrators to lose their licenses if they fail to report teachers who resign after allegations emerge. The idea is to prevent problem teachers from moving from one district or state to another.

"We're concerned there may be underreporting and that there may be more cases out there that we just haven't been notified of," said Rich Haglund, an attorney for the board. "And so we wanted to put a few more teeth into the reporting requirement."

Apparently, Tennessee is not alone. South Carolina and New York both report sexual misconduct as a key reason for license revocation.

Charol Shakeshaft, a professor at Hofstra University, recently studied teacher sexual misconduct for the federal government.

Her 2004 analysis found that as much as 10% of students experience some type of sexual misconduct at the hands of an educator, whether verbal, physical or visual. (Visual abuse would include being shown pornography or observing masturbation.) About 7% of kids reported being physically abused, she found, though other studies have placed that number lower.

These are staggering statistics. It seems some small proportion of teachers are only teaching for access to students. In this time of “everything is more”, do they feel they have just cause for treating their students as sexual objects? Is love behind it, or pedophilia?

But is it cause for concern? One parent doesn’t think so:

Steve Glover, president of the parent group at Nashville's McGavock High and the elementary and middle schools that feed into it, said that while the issue is important, problem teachers make up a very small percentage of the profession.

"I don't think it's anything people need to get up in arms about. Certainly, if it happened to your child, you'd be up in arms, but I don't think we have an epidemic on our hands."

He said that the increased scrutiny had a negative effect of placing teachers' actions "under a microscope."

"But the pro side is heightening awareness so that teachers — or any adult — don't try to pull that kind of garbage."

I think these statistics should be great cause for concern. If ONE child in America is sexually or physically abused by a teacher, it is one child too many. This type of treatment of students not only affects their psyche but can affect their desire to learn. Teachers are supposed to be role models, and we should be able to feel safe leaving our children with them on a daily basis.

No, I don’t think this is any reason to get “up in arms”, but I do think this should propel parents to make an effort to get to know their kid’s teachers, to open discussion with their children on a daily basis about their day at school and to look for any signs of abuse or potential abusive behavior on the part of the teacher. Parents need to be involved just as much as administrators in order to make sure these incidents don’t happen.

Our children are our greatest resource. Let us treat them and teach them well.

Forgive and forget?

Last night my husband were watching an episode from the 8^th season of the X-Files. Granted, this season is filled with mostly ho-hum episodes, most of which work to establish a relationship between Scully and Doggett. But there is one episode in this season which I think shines for a very simple reason: it deals with an ethical/moral question that most of us don’t even consider.

This episode, entitled Redrum, goes backwards in time and focuses on a prosecutor who is accused of violently murdering his wife. The true murderer, however, is a revenge-seeker – it seems the prosecutor convicted his brother on a “third strike” drug dealing charge by suppressing evidence that would have exonerated him. The prosecutor blithely states “well, he was dealing drugs anyway, right?” and the brother informs him that the boy had cleaned up his act, gotten a good job, and was leading a good life.

Obviously, we can’t ignore the fact that the lawyer has committed an immoral act by suppressing evidence, and to a smaller degree by making the assumption that it would be ok because surely, this two-time convicted drug dealer was still a drug dealer. People who commit crimes can’t change, right?

This is, of course, untrue. People who commit crimes change all the time. Yet there is a propensity amongst law abiding citizens to assume that criminals will forever and always be recidivists. I am guilty of this type of prejudice myself, and I make this mistake without even thinking about it. If I find out someone has committed a criminal act, I will view them differently, judge them. Had I been Athena, Orestes might have been cursed for all time.

All this was prompted by an article I read on CNN.com yesterday about a newborn baby who was taken from the hospital, and from the parents, because the father had pleaded guilty to rape and sodomy twenty years ago in New York. Children and Youth Services also cited an alleged history of drug abuse by the mother.

I understand the desire and need for the state to protect children. I find it quite necessary, and I am glad to know that in some places the system is keeping track and taking action when they think that a child may be in harm’s way. But this sort of preemptive strike seems a bit unfair. Twenty years is a long time. Not knowing the details of the prior conviction, I can’t be a proper judge of the matter. But it seems like it might have been better for the state to simply monitor the family rather than take the child away from it’s parents.

Realistically, if the state is going to take away a child born to a former sex offender, they should tell that sex offender that should he/she try to have children, the child will be taken away. If they are going to be this firm about it, why doesn’t the state remove the reproductive capabilities of the offender? Of course, the state can’t do either of these things, because it would be unconstitutional. But you would think taking the child away would be just as unconstitutional.

Again, I don't know all the details aside from what was stated in the article. But I hope America starts to be real careful about these types of things, before America stops looking like America.

Men are universal

My husband has a problem with initiation. No, not THAT kind of initiation. He just can't seem to take responsibility for opening a new box, package, or whatever, of some general household product.

I can't tell you how many times I've gone to do something in the kitchen and found he hasn't replaced the paper towel roll. We have a roll of toothpaste that takes the force of God to get any toothpaste out, even though there is a new package sitting in the bathroom. He went a week using his old toothbrush, which needed to be replaced, before I managed to open the new package and throw his old one out.

We keep our baggies, aluminum foil, and saran wrap on top of the fridge. Since I can't see over the fridge, I always bring the box of whatever down to extract whatever item I need. I can't count how many times I have reached up for the baggie box only to pull it down and find it empty. The next time it happens I am going to bludgeon my husband with the empty box. He claims that since he can't see over our fridge either, that he just reaches up to grab a baggie and has no idea that the box is empty. No idea that the box is empty. Uh huh.

He doesn't fill the ice cube trays or put packages of Cokes or waters in the fridge when we run out of cold ones. He used to leave the toilet paper with just a couple of measley squares on it before he got tired of me screaming across the apartment at the top of my lungs that I needed toilet paper. Now he is pretty good about replacing the toilet paper. Not great, but better.

To his credit, however, he does do some things. He fetches my packages from the post office. He gives me back rubs when I need them. He comforts me when I am sad. He works hard every day to keep us fed and clothed. And he loves me. If only I could get him to replace the damn paper towels.

Congrats to ABBA!!!

Abba has won the honor of having the number one song in Eurovision's 50th anniversary song contest, with their hit Waterloo, which won the song contest in 1973.

I am tickled pink that they won, I knew that they would. What Europeans don't like Abba??!?? Still, I am extremely disappointed that they didn't show up for the festivities. I guess Benny and Bjorn are too busy rolling in their royalties off that Madonna single.

Way to disappoint long time fans, guys!

On public toilets

For those of you traveling in Greece, I have one major caveat for you: for the love of all that is good and holy avoid public restrooms. Those of us familiar with public bathrooms in America know that you can never count on cleanliness in them, but you can usually count on a “traditional” toilet. By traditional I basically mean a standing toilet with a seat. In Greece, not only are you not guaranteed cleanliness (remember, Greeks + public cleanliness do not go together) but you are not guaranteed even a toilet. So if you find yourself in a position where you must use a public bathroom in Greece, here is a brief explanation of what you can expect.

For the most part, there are three possible public bathroom scenarios in Greece, at least, these are the three that I have seen. The first type is the simple spot for your feet and a hole in the ground. The hole isn’t even that big, and I really wonder how many women can manage this with any aplomb. I have never been an expert at guiding my “stream” which has always made giving urine samples a veritable nightmare. This type of public toilet is like giving a urine sample from 3 feet up. For guys I imagine this is a dream scenario: almost like just pissing on the floor but with permission. And something to aim at to boot! Toilet paper hasn’t even come into existence in this alternate reality, so don’t even hope for it. If you are looking for soap at the sink, keep walking. It ain’t gonna happen.

The second type is the standing toilet but without a seat. Much better than the hole in the floor, and considering I never let my ass near a public toilet seat doesn’t really matter in the end. Easier for women to “aim” (if you can call it that). Such places may or may not have toilet paper, you never know. There is a good chance you might find soap at the sink, but don’t count on it.

The third type is the normal, traditional toilet. Be wary of these, because the flusher can be hard to locate. Places that have traditional toilets have toilet paper about 75% of the time, because they don’t want people to be messy. They do have a tendency to forget to restock, however. There is almost always soap by the sinks in the these bathrooms, and generally they are semi-clean. But not always.

The important thing to remember is never count on anything in a Greek public restroom. I make a point of always carrying a pack of tissues and antibacterial wipes in my purse for those rare emergencies. Believe me, you will be happy if you do.

Tom, the Token Gay Friend?

I believe that gays should have the right to get married. I believe that gays should have the right to adopt children. I believe that gays should be recognized in the same ways as heterosexuals. Well, actually, I believe that being gay or straight really shouldn't matter in the end, for any reason, but apparently society can't get past that little detail.

Now, I appreciate the work of the Human Rights Campaign. I think it is important to educate people and work towards establishing rights for lesbians, gays, bisexuals, and transgender individuals. But I am not sure what I think of their Tom, the Token Gay Friend! public service ad campaign.

The commercials almost seem like an SNL skit. I realize they are trying to make advertisements that jump out at people, but these are almost a farce. I almost don't believe they are real, and I certainly don't know if they will succeed with their attempted message.

With countries like Canada, Spain, Belgium and The Netherlands forging the path, hopefully there will be recognition for gay marriage in the U.S. and other European countries in the near future. But I am not sure they can do it with ad campaigns like this one.

Props to Glitterati for turning me on to the ads.

No Shabbat here

Ok, well I'm not Jewish. So technically I don't have a real need for Challah, a delicious Jewish bread that is often made for Shabbat. Nor do I have ancient family recipes that will provide me with instruction for making the best Challah ever.

Instead, I have the internet. There are thousands of Challah recipes out there, half of which are for making Challah in a breadmaker. Alas, this Greek-American household is sans breadmaker. It would make the Challah baking life so much easier, it seems. While in theory the recipes don't seem that difficult, they seem to require a kitchen that has a lot more counter space than mine. Not to mention a cook with a lot more patience than I have. So after a thorough investigation of Challah recipes, which include lots of admonitions to prevent 'dead' yeast (I admit that scares me a little bit) and yelling at my husband repeatedly "we need a breadmaker! we need a breadmaker!" I have decided there will be no Challah-making in this kitchen.

Now, I suppose, you might be wondering why this sudden need for Challah? Well, I would have gone the rest of my life never knowing what Challah was, if it wasn't for the Great Harvest Bakery in Nashville, who made such delicious Challah every Friday I could consume a loaf and nothing else all day. So now I am missing the delicious Challah. And I will have to scour the streets of Thessaloniki looking, perhaps in vain, for a Jewish bakery.

The buck stops here

Try as I may, I cannot stop using the terms dollars and bucks when it comes to talking about prices. I don't know why I have such difficulty saying euros, perhaps because the name of the currency is so damn pretentious. And a bit silly. It could be because the relative nature of both currencies is so similar. I have no issue calling pounds pounds or quid, I don't make the same mistakes with any currencies but the euro. Of course, I don't have occasion to use pounds on a regular basis so who knows, it might different if I actually lived in England.

I am tired of the confused stares that inevitably ensue when I say dollars. Greeks seem to have a problem with understanding meaning if you don't say exactly what you mean. I don't know if the problem is that they are obtuse or they are just trying hard to make you look like an idiot. But they'll give you the same look if you use the wrong article in a sentence or misconjugate a verb. At any rate, the people closest to me understand what the hell I mean. It isn't that hard to figure out.

I'm thinking maybe someone needs to come up with a good slang term for the euro, something akin to bucks or quid. I think I could get on board with something good, something like shiner or bog. "That'll cost ya a shiner!" or "That crap costs 20 bogs?"

In the meantime, I'll work at getting my currencies right. Ten shiners says if I ever go back to America for a visit I'll call dollars euros. Just wait.

It's a sad day

Apparently, some Americans actually need a law to help them take responsibility for themselves. The so-called "Cheeseburger Bill", which was passed by the House of Representatives Wednesday, would keep people from filing civil lawsuits against fast food chains for making them get fat.

OK, people. I can see it now: eventually Congress is going to have to pass a bill telling people they have to wipe their ass after they shit. I mean really. There is enough information out there, and even IN the fast food restaurants themselves, letting people know how fattening the food is. You can't blame a fast food restaurant for making you fat. The fast food restaurant didn't force feed you 10 Big Macs and 5 super size fries a day. Are these people hinting that fast food restaurants should shut down so they won't be tempted? What about the people that enjoy fast food responsibly? Maybe fast food places should just ban fat people from entering or eating their food? Oh wait, that would be discrimination. We wouldn't want that.

For the record, I don't agree with the cigarette lawsuits anymore either. Sure, several years ago people weren't as well-informed about the dangers of smoking. But now they are. Hell, it is right there on the damn pack! That is one of the main points of a free America, you are allowed to make your own decisions. If you decide to smoke, that is your business. You know the risks. Sure, perhaps cigarettes should be illegal. Why don't you ask the government why they aren't?

While we are at it, let's just sue television networks for making us stupid, game companies for wasting our time, coffee manufacturers for making us jittery, candy bar companies for rotting our teeth. Why should we bother taking responsibility for ourselves at all?

What you don't know about Harry Potter

With the U.S. release of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire a month away, VH1 compiled a list of "20 Things You Didn't Know about Harry Potter", even though a couple of the things I most certainly DID know.

Props to Wizard News for the link.

What Greeks do to reality shows

Greece currently has a version of Big Brother going called Big Mother (for some reason when someone says mother like that I can't help but think of a certain, um, "suffix" that might be implied when you call someone a "mother") that puts a bunch of mothers (see?) with their kids in a house and films them 24/7. There is actually a channel on the satellite that has a live feed 23 hours a day, which is a bit of overkill if you ask me but whatever. Obviously they have the channel space (might be a good time to bring in Comedy Central, eh?).

Now, I thought the Big Brother franchise had died in America, but apparently I am wrong. I am still wondering how the world can support so many damn reality shows, but I guess it can. Big Mother is an interesting concept, I suppose, considering how formidable Greek mothers can be. I am sure, though, if I watched it and actually listened to what the people were saying I would be bored out of my mind. But if you watch it with no sound and make up what the people are saying it can be loads of fun. Sort of a postmodern, pre-apocalyptic Mystery Science Theater 3k.

Still, most of the mothers on the show hardly seem like mothers. They all seemed to have given birth at a young age and are trying to appear to be 20-somethings themselves. Most of the time they sit around lounging on the couches, smoking cigarettes and trying to look cool. Mothers and children alike have bad posture, spend all day smoking, and wear sunglasses in the house. The latter seems to be typical of most reality shows, I wonder if it is a subconscious attempt to "avoid" the cameras.

Granted, I am making my observations based on about 30 minutes of observing the show, but I have a gut feeling I could turn it on any time and witness the same behavior. While I can almost understand the reality shows that have people doing things (Survivor, Fame Story) I am not sure I see the value in a show that basically shows people sitting around and talking. I wonder if people actually watch the show on a regular basis, and really get into it. It seems a soap opera would be better entertainment.

Still, you can't help but wonder which mother (plucker?) will be left in the end.