Last night, I dreamt of bacon. I was in a manufacturing plant of some kind, and my purpose was to taste test different types of bacon and report on each one. There was some kind of alleged "expert chef" standing over me, who looked curiously like Donna Reed (she was even in black and white), explaining to me what makes bacon good and what kind of things to look for in the taste, texture, and smell of the bacon.
The thing is, I hate bacon. I loathe it. I wish bacon would die in a fire irl. Bacon ruins the flavor of everything it touches. Indeed, I believe bacon to be the antichrist.
So why in Valen's name did I dream of bacon?
I must be watching too much Jamie Oliver.
6 comments:
You did it for me because I love bacon. I'd eat dirt if it came with a side of bacon.
I ham all for bacon :-) It'd be rasher of me to say otherwise. Sorry. Couldn't resist!!! :-)
And, to quote the very famous "Vin Scully" (veteran baseball announcer for the L.A. Dodgers), I'd like to say:
Bring home the Bacon with Farmer John.
(an advertising plug he said for years before every Los Angeles Dodger broadcast).
oops (misquote)
should have said:
"from Farmer John" not "with Farmer John"
Perhaps your secret evil and buried personality is craving bacon. I would suggest that you give in to her, or you might find yourself ravenously hording bacon in your closet and then you'll have some midnight sleepwaling REM monkey on your back.
Then again, your're probably right. Complain to Jamie.
You are all crazy bacon lovers! Bacon just ruins the flavor of everything it touches!
There is definitely no inner bacon lover inside me. I do love scrapple, though.
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