How to get a fine German sausage, Greek style

Last night my husband and I wanted to have dinner out, which isn’t too unusual for us lately, but we wanted something different. Well, in all actuality I was craving some American fare because I was plum taverna-d out. We were going to go to Applebee’s, but it was late when my husband got home and I decided I didn’t want to weave my way through the ultra-hip crowds of youngsters down by the sea. My sister-in-law recommended we go to Extrablatt, a restaurant close to home. I was not disappointed. The menu offers recipes of a German/Greek flare, along with other international flavors. And for beer lovers, what a selection!

I highly recommend this restaurant if you want a nice place to eat in Thessaloniki. The cost is a bit high by Greek standards – about twice what you would pay at your average taverna, but well worth it. The food, service, and ambience were all top notch. Too bad I didn’t have a camera phone, or I’d be tempting everyone with pictures of their luscious food and brilliant décor.

Oh, and if you go, be sure to check out the beer poster by the bathroom.

A universal rite of passage

Yesterday my husband bought his first tub of spackle. He is finally a real man.

I couldn't be more proud of him.

First Europe, someday the world

In an ongoing story, EBU, the giant network responsible for the ever popular Eurovision Song Contest, is in talks with people in the U.S. about an American version of the show. I thought this would be a good idea ever since I saw my first Eurovision in 2003, with 50 states and a couple of protectorates to choose from, there would be stiff competition.

I know what you are thinking: America doesn't need another American Idol or Nashville Star type show. But the Eurovision concept is unique, requiring contestants from all countries to compete in a semifinal with public voting for valuable spaces in the final. In the final, people cannot vote for their own country's representative. The winning country has to host the next year's contest, and the top 10 get an automatic spot in the following year's final. I'd imagine they would do it similarly in the U.S., with contestants from each state (and protectorate) competing against one another.

EBU also has their eye on Canada, Australia, the Middle East and Africa for similar song contests, with the possibility of a worldwide contest with the winners of each. Now that would be really cool.

In current Eurovision news, Athens hosted a great semi-final last night, despite the fact that most of the songs were really, really, really bad. The big finale is tomorrow night, and my pick is the Norwegian contestant, Christine Guldbrandsen, who has a really beautiful song with ethnic undertones (you can see a preview of the song here, if you click on Norway under the finalist list). Unfortunately, most countries offer up songs sung in English (sometimes in terrible English) that are trying desperately to imitate the worst of Western music.

For those of you unfamiliar with Eurovision, Abba, Katrina and the Waves, and Celine Dion were all winners of the contest. Earlier this year, Abba won the honor of best Eurovision song at the 50th anniversary celebration of the contest. For more Eurovision fun, visit the official website.

Your lawyer is going to kill you.

This is a post I have been meaning to write for some time now, but did not come around to doing for various reasons. No time, not in the mood, thinking about what to say and how to say it... excuses. In reality it's too depressing; depressing because nothing I - or anyone else for that matter - do will change the fact: Your lawyer is going to kill you.

Before you ask me to lay off the "good stuff", a little bit of background. I come from a family of doctors and have been around Medicine all my life. The feel of it, the idea of it, the practice of it. Hell, my brother and I made up children's songs containing medication brand names when we were 6-7 years old. Now I have myself been practicing for four years - add to that the six, seven years I studied Medicine and you'll see that, while by no means an expert, I have some idea about how the Art is faring in Greece.

More background: Medicine has taken a huge beating in Greece in the last few years. Scandals - true and alleged - of corruption, money changing hands, horrible briberies and other soap opera material appear in the news weekly at least. Doctors, probably because we have multiplied to an oppressively high degree, are taken for granted. No longer standing on a pedestal, we don't even tread the same ground as everyone else. Rather we are parasites, greedy and readily replaceable by other parasites waiting to take our place should we falter or not please our clientelle.

This has been going on for the better part of a decade, slowly and surely. Only recently though, not more than two, three years ago, a new animal made its appearance in the jungle we call home. An animal imported from the far more dangerous and exotic jungles of foreign lands - mainly the U.S.A: The lawyer specializing in medical malpractice lawsuits.

Oh you should see him (or her)! How warmly he speaks of the deceased! How he cradles the horribly wronged patient in his arms! As he would his best friend, nay! His own brother! And how - his countenance radiating with divine wrath - he calls upon Justice and Hygeia to be his witnesses, God to be his helper in this his most uphill climb, this cross he has to bear. And yet, much like St George did, he will slay the dragon. He will make the degenerate, incompetent doctors pay (literally). And if not, oh well, on to the next - true or alleged - victim.

As I said, the "fad" is new and imported, mainly - although not exclusively - from the U.S. Let me quote a few numbers before I go on. One thousand two hundred and sixty-eight (1268) doctors in "high risk" specialties (surgeons mostly, but not exclusively) in Pennsylvania were asked to fill out a questionnaire:

- 824 doctors replied.
- about 50% had been sued for malpractice in the past three years.
- almost all replied that they had held back on treatment (using only conservative, tried and true approaches) at some point or other.
- almost 60% replied, they asked for more tests than really necessary.
- 33% replied they prescribed more medication than really necessary.
- 32% admitted to asking for invasive tests to confirm diagnoses.
- 39% admitted to avoiding high risk patients.

Let me try to read between the lines. Even if we cut these numbers in half, most doctors look upon you as a potential opponent in litigation. Most doctors will hold back and not give you their full expertise. A third of doctors will put you through painful procedures and give you dangerous medication you don't need. Are they insane? Are american physicians just bad doctors? Obviously not, they are among the better trained and respected anywhere in the world. What happened? You happened. Whether lured by an eloquent lawyer or tricked by ignorance, whether venting grief and anger in the wrong direction or scoping for quick cash, you will end up causing harm. Harm for yourself and for others. Because face it: An over-cautious doctor is a bad doctor, just as bad as a reckless one.

For god's sake, doctors are humans. You hire someone to paint your house and through no great fault of theirs, the nice pastel pink you picked on the color sheet turns out to be a horrible greyish-purple. So a mistake was made, you accept it, or repaint your house and that is that. At worst, you ask for a free repaint - and sometimes you get it. What do you think happens when a doctor makes a mistake? And he will, get that through your skull. Your doctor has and will make mistakes. Big ones and small ones and - every now and then, hopefully never, but in truth it does happen - someone will die. That is the price of appointing a human to be a demi-god. To dispel disease, to mend the broken, remove the inflamed, restore the damaged. It - does - not - always - work.

Does this mean that we will just give doctors free reign? Care if they want and not if they don't? Heal or cripple at will? Of course not! There are bad doctors, there are doctors who just don't pay attention, who are sloppy and probably should not practise. The law should - and does more or less - weed those out, but that's a far cry from slapping every doctor who may or may not have made a mistake with a big lawsuit. Did you know that most of the latter are either totally bogus or end up in acquittal? Fine. Who will pay for the nights of lost sleep, the days of lost labor? Who will pay for the descent into cynicism, the loss of faith in humanity, the breaking of the spirit of the doctor?

We all will.

The whole world is against me

Ever since I made this post about my vitriolic hatred of the pea, peas have been following me everywhere. Dishes at restaurants that really shouldn't have peas end up with a small pea on the edge of the plate. All rice dishes seem to have at least one or two peas thrown in for my benefit (and gawd, I hate rice like the dickens too). No matter what taverna I go to or what I order, there is a pea staring up at me on my plate. I am beginning to think it is some sort of global conspiracy.

Now the smokers are chasing me everywhere too. I've written about my distaste for the Greek propensity for smoking several times. I keep thinking it will get better, because most of the world has let up on their cigarette habits (or at least forbid it in public). But not Greece, oh no. Greece is at one with the cigarette. The cigarette is the me and the now in Greece.

According to a recent poll, smoking in Greece has risen - 42% of Greeks over the age of 14 (fourteen!) smoke. 60% of those between ages 35 and 44 smoke. A third of women and half of men smoke and Greeks spend between 500 and 1000 euros a year on their daily cigarette fix. 10% more cigarettes were being smoked in Greece in 2004 than a decade earlier. 15% of children UNDER EIGHTEEN smoke. Yoiks.

Ironically, Greeks spend a bit of time bitching about smog and unclean air around their cities. Sure, industry and transportation will do that, but no doubt when 42% of a nation smokes it has an effect on the atmosphere.

In the end, I am not sure how I can come to terms with all the smoking. The peas I can simply squash, the smokers, not so much. Still, in a nation that constantly worries about the continuation of its people and culture, you'd think they'd get a little more health savvy, especially when it comes to their children.

I guess I'll just sit here and worry about the Greeks all by myself. But you peas, you better watch it.

How dangerous the brain can be

Yesterday evening I was rushing around getting ready to go out to dinner with some of my husband's colleagues. I sent my husband on downstairs with a bag of trash while I finished gathering my things. Running around the apartment, I couldn't find my cellphone. Remembering I had brought it into the foyer when I was bringing out the trashbag, I looked for it there, but to no avail.

I proceeded downstairs and sheepishly asked my husband to dial my cellphone. Sure enough, the trash can outside our apartment building began to ring as my husband exploded with laughter, pulled out our bag of trash, and extracted the ringing phone.

I've definitely seen better days.

Denial: tastes great, and less filling!

I realize that the governments of most countries in the world are old hat at the art of denial. I also realize that for some people, denial is the only way you can survive without wanting to plunge your head into a fresh, steaming cow pie. But what kind of jackass do you have to be to put your need for denial above the need of an entire nation to memorialize their dead?

Turkey has their panties in a wad yet again over the memorial to the Pontic Greeks that was recently erected here in Thessaloniki. The Pontic Greeks were from a region in Turkey near the Black Sea, and their people were systematically slaughtered by the Turks during World War I. Hundreds of thousands of people were killed in these slaughters, which should rightfully be called a genocide but the Turks don’t seem to have a word for genocide in their lexicon (Armenia, anyone?). I perfectly understand that it is better for the Turkish government to ignore events like this and pretend they never happened. I can think of several moments in my life that I wish had never happened, mostly involving copious amounts of Long Island Iced Tea and projectile vomiting. But denial isn’t really healthy for the psyche, so I’ve learned how to live with my shame and get beyond it.

The response of the Turkish Prime Minister to the memorial was something along the lines of how the issue is a very sensitive one in Turkey. Golly gee whiz! No one would want to do harm to Turkish sensibilities! But did ya ever consider it might be a bit of a sensitive subject in Greece too? The Turkish Foreign Minister Abdullah Gul (also known as George Clooney’s brother), went so far as to say that the erection of the monument “cast a shadow over friendly relations between the two countries.” Say what? Again, I have to say what kind of asshole objects to a memorial for hundreds of thousands of dead?

I live here in Thessaloniki, and I can’t say that there was much fanfare surrounding the erection of this monument. In fact, my husband and I were having coffee at a place near it a few days ago and I asked him if he knew what the statue was for. He didn’t. It is a very tasteful statue, full of emotion and feeling – a woman grieving. For all we guessed it was a symbolic representation of the city, the country, who knew? Of course, we could have gone over and looked at what it was for, but it didn’t really matter. At any rate, it isn’t like they have big neon signs and a giant searchlight over this memorial and a big booming voice on a loudspeaker saying “this is a memorial for hundreds of thousands of Greeks who were killed by Turks – yes I said Turks! It was genocide by Turks!”. In fact, most people in Thessaloniki probably wouldn’t have known what the statue was for until the Turkish Prime Minister brought it up. Way to draw attention to something you want to forget about, Mr. Erdogan.

In the end, the issue isn’t really about who killed these people. They could have died to the Turks, an angry flock of zombie bunnies, or Martians, it wouldn’t really matter. The Greeks wanted to memorialize them (and rightly so) and they did. To object to a memorial, on any grounds, might have to be the lowest of the low. After all, the truth hurts all of us, not just the Turks.

The Greeks are full of irony

We were at a taverna in the countryside today, and at each table was a cute little sign saying "thank you for not smoking". What was beside each cute little sign?

An ashtray.

A sure sign of the apocalypse

In what can be considered a reasonable response to the outcry over the release of the movie version of The Da Vinci Code, the Holy Synod of the Church of Greece has prepared a leaflet for its Sunday worshippers "advising them that the Hollywood film “The Da Vinci Code,” due to hit Greek cinemas next week, is “completely untrue” and “insults” religious sensibilities."

It does not, however, tell people whether or not they should go see the movie, instead focusing on a point-by-point refutation of the work and accusing Dan Brown of insulting the church.

While I think they could have left the Dan Brown bashing off (hey, he's a terrible writer, why blast into him more?) the fact that instead of telling congregates not to see the movie they refute the story is a much healthier response than what I've seen from other churches. Even though the Bishop of Thessaloniki advised Greeks not to see the movie, Archbishop Christodoulous said that bishops and clerics of the church should refrain from making comments about the film because "they did not have the authority to present the Church's official position."

Coming from an Archbishop who has lashed out against gays, immigration, and all kinds of other crap, the fact that I agree with something he's done actually makes me throw up in my mouth a little bit. You might want to check the temperature in hell. Still, I guess people can surprise you now and then.

In the meantime, the Christians in India are apparently going overboard in the stand against the movie, as apparently some rioting broke out in Bombay yesterday. People's reactions to this movie release are getting dangerously close to the reactions regarding the Danish Muhammad cartoons, which is pretty ironic, considering Christians all over the world at that time were saying that while the cartoons were offensive, they would never behave in such a way if similarly offended. Way to be hypocrites, people.

Tom Hanks seems to be regarding all this brouhaha with some amusement. He said "If you are going to take any sort of movie at face value, particularly a huge-budget motion picture like this, you'd be making a very big mistake" and said that the film was filled with "hooey" and "nonsense".

It's all a bunch of hooey and nonsense until somebody gets hurt.

Oh, you mean no

I've decided that my first act as leader of the world will be to assign a global standard for the words yes and no, and more importantly, to make the body language representation of these responses clear and used by all people all over the world.

I really couldn't care less what language we take our yes and no from, English, Greek, Chinese, Arabic - whatever, it doesn't matter. I realize that in theory it is easy enough to visit a foreign country and immediately learn yes and no in the native tongue, but figuring out the body language is a whole new ballgame. Half the time people say no with their body language here I think they are saying yes, that is until they wonder why I am looking at them intently despite the fact that they've answered my question in the negatory and they finally decide to speak their answer. I actually would think the total muscle involvement of saying "οχι" is much less than the elaborate head/shoulder maneuvering they do for their physical answer, but apparently there are some Greeks who just can't take it upon themselves to speak. Surprising, really. Yet the body language answer for yes is really not that different, with the shrug and half nod.

Better yet, if you don't want to speak just make up two flash cards with "ναι" and "οχι" on them and hold them up instead of the half assed body language that actually makes some Greeks look more like they are squeezing out a fart than answering a question.

If you'd just lay down your tracks

This past weekend the folks at VH1 took it upon themselves to show us the Top 100 Greatest Videos Ever (exclamation point). I am spelling out the exclamation point instead of using an exclamation point because I want to make it clear that was VH1’s exclamation point, not my own. I try to refrain from excess usage of exclamation points, especially in conjunction with phrases like “greatest videos ever”.

My husband and I happened to watch, off and on, the top 50, and I guess if I was even more of a freak than I already am I would have listed them all and gone over them one by one for you. Luckily for you, I’m not that crazy yet. I only made a note of the top 5 so I could bitch about them in proper blogger fashion.

5. Sledgehammer, Peter Gabriel.

Now, I don’t know what world these people came from, but in my world Sledgehammer was the reigning champ of videos for a good fifteen years. If you watch it today it still has the appeal of a modern video, none of the artistry seems outdated. I couldn’t imagine how Sledgehammer had slipped to number five until I saw what number four was.

4. November Rain, Guns N’ Roses

This explains everything. See, this is what happens when people my age (36) get replaced by people my husband’s age (30). Generally speaking there isn’t that much difference between 36 and 30, but when it comes to popular music, there is a world of difference between what I grew up listening to and what he grew up listening to. As far as I know, this video never even cracked the top ten before. Whatevah. Look, I’m not dissin’ GNR, I used to like some of their music. But November Rain, really?

3. Take on Me, A-Ha

OK. I can accept this video being in the top five. Even my mother liked this video. But it isn’t of a quality that trumps Sledgehammer. Sorry.

2. Sabotage, Beastie Boys

I have no complaints with this Beastie Boys video being number two. It is quite clever. But I still think Sledgehammer should be number one.

1. Thriller, Michael Jackon

No doubt this is a groundbreaking video. It had a famous director, a script, Vincent Price, and a budget that makes other videos cream in their pants. I don’t have an issue with it being in the top five, even though I think it is a bit unfair, considering some of the above. But for years it was always number two to Sledgehammer’s number one. What the hell happened?

I know what y’all are thinking. I can’t let go of the past. But I do honestly and truly believe that Sledgehammer still stands the test of time as the best video ever made. Of course, if I was 30 instead of 36 I might not agree. Ah well.

Trying to break the code

The Greek Orthodox bishop of Thessaloniki has jumped on the bandwagon with many other higher ups of various Christian religions in urging Greek Orthodoxites not to go see The Da Vinci Code.

The bishop of Thessaloniki, Anthimos, advised all Greeks yesterday not to watch the “Da Vinci Code,” the film based on a best-selling Dan Brown novel exploring the idea that Jesus Christ has living descendants. Anthimos said the film and book were based on “arbitrary fictional constructions” and bore no relation to scientific and historical information.

Still, I wonder why when it comes to religion, religious leaders can't just let there be fiction (unless, of course, it seems to be in favor of their religious ideals). It is a movie, a work of fiction. If you really think a movie could break someone's faith, then you might need to step up your religion a little bit.

We'll just have to see how many Greeks are at the theater in a couple of weeks.

In which I pretend I'm not from Tennessee

I should have known it would happen eventually. Supersexed-for-teenaged boys teacher Pamela Rogers has made the T.V. news here (on the Mega channel) in Greece.

Tennessee? Nope, I've never heard of Tennessee...

Husbands take note

When you are married to a woman who is as fond of gaming as you are, do not hand her a copy of PCGamer and tell her to read a short article on the new Everquest expansion without expecting her to keep reading the magazine. Do not make indignant tsking noises when this happens, just allow her to keep reading.

You have been warned.

Protesting the war by making a war zone

In Athens today there was an anti-war demonstration sponsored by the 4th European Social Forum. Anti-war protests are not uncommon in Greece, there have been tons of them since I moved here, mostly, of course, aiming at Bush's policies in the Middle East.

Now, I hate war in general, and I am opposed to the war in Iraq as well as taking any military action against Iran. If there was one place in the world I would consider supporting military involvement right now, it would be Darfur.

I accept and understand that anti-war rallies are a good way to speak out against things gone wrong in the world. I personally don't think they are that effective, because world leaders work from their own agendas, and probably couldn't care less about the millions of people all over the world who protest their agendas. But for some people the protests are a catharsis, a way to speak out, a way to do something, and I am all for people being able to do that.

What I don't understand, however, is how in every single demonstration I have witnessed here in Greece the rally turns into a mini war zone of its own. Molotov cocktails, destroying places that represent U.S. industry (like that poor McDonald's in Syntagma - it gets busted up so often, but really people, it is a franchise, that means it is probably owned by Greeks), violence and police and tear gas and flames all compound the danger of these protests. What is this about? How are you convincing anyone you are against war when your own actions are war-like? Sure, sure, I know it is usually behavior attributable to leftist, anarchist assholes - but if you are organizing a demonstration of this kind, you should know these nuts are going to emerge from under their rocks and completely undermine any message the peaceful protesters are trying to convey. And if you add the adrenaline of the herd mentality no doubt a few of the "normal" protesters get caught up in the imbroglio. Take all this under consideration and the rallies become pointless demonstrations of how "warlike" the human spirit can be.

I just find it weird how hypocritical human behavior can be. Like the Catholics who protested The Last Temptation of Christ by blowing up movie theaters (will The DaVinci Code bring about the same behavior? I hope not). Like the pro-lifers who protest abortions by bombing clinics and murdering doctors. I can't believe in a person's convictions if their actions are contrary to what they support.

I know, I know. I'm not naive, I know things won't change. It doesn't keep me from wishing they would, though.

When you smile with every new day

Today, in celebration of the fourth anniversary of our American wedding, my husband and I decided to walk down to the sea and eat at Ruby Tuesday. Of all the American restaurants I'd expect to see overseas I sure never expected to see Ruby Tuesday, of course, we had already enjoyed the Applebee's in Athens, so I guess it wasn't that weird.

It was a fitting celebration, though. The decor, the food, everything was just like it might be at a Ruby Tuesday back home. Especially the prices! I have to say, after a few years of being used to Greek prices, it was a bit of a culture shock to see food that expensive. We probably paid almost twice as much as we would have at a taverna. Still, it was nice to have a big sizzling plate of fajitas for a change.

It is comforting to know that I can still get a little taste of home now and then, without having to resort to McDonald's.

I must be defective in some way

At first glance, when I saw the headline "Teachers don't mind pudding on a show to help pay for prom" I read it as "Teachers don't mind pudding on a show to help pay for PORN". That mistake certainly made me look twice at the article.

Seriously, though, with the huge teacher sex scandal in Tennessee, is it really appropriate for teachers to wrestle in chocolate pudding?

Sheesh, maybe I'm getting too prissy in my old age.

Once upon a wedding

Today marks the third anniversary of our big, fat, Greek wedding (sorry, it just begs to be used). Consequently, tomorrow will mark the fourth anniversary of our small, slim, American wedding, which doesn’t really count because my husband and I lived apart for four months afterwards. To all this all I have to say is: it’s only been four years?!? It feels like fifty!

While that may be a joke, to some extent it is true. Even though my husband and I only met a mere six years ago, it seems like I’ve known him a lifetime. It’s amazing how easy it is to grow close to the right person, and despite some major cultural, spiritual and political differences the relationship just keeps getting better. This is a big deal for a girl like me – as I never really wanted to get married or even have a long term relationship. I suppose I was a bit capricious, looking for some unknown, unrealistic intellectual ideal, but I should have known I could find it among the Greeks.

You can imagine that with my general attitude about marriage I was not the kind of girl who dreamed of her perfect wedding all her life. The Nashville wedding was a simple affair thrown together at the last minute to invite a few close friends who would definitely not be able to come to Greece for the wedding. It was very small, very low-key, and very perfect.

I should have known the Greek wedding would be a nightmare as soon as I had to call West End Methodist Church to ask for proof of my baptism. The Greek Orthodox Church apparently has no intention of allowing its parishioners to marry heathens, so it was by the pure grace of God that I had reluctantly agreed to be baptized when I was sixteen. When I called the church secretary to request the document, she said “let me guess, you are marrying a Catholic or Greek Orthodox”. Apparently mine wasn’t the first request they ever received.

My second mistake was trying to work out a date that would correspond with the date of our first wedding, so the anniversaries would be together. We got lucky with May 3^rd, but it just so happened that year that our chosen date was a week after Easter. Thus, our wedding was replete with Easter blessings of all kinds. Being as uncomfortable with religion as I am, this was not helpful to my sanity at the time.

Since I had no preferences or opinions about wedding type stuff, I pretty much let my mother-in-law and sister-in-law go nuts on the planning. I had zero desire to plan anything myself, and since it was a Greek wedding I knew little about what was required, so I got off scot-free. Thanos and I would just show up in Thessaloniki every few weeks for fittings, shopping, and fine details. Oh, and let’s not forget the meeting with the priest where I swore, in front of witnesses, that any children we would have would be Greek Orthodox and have my husband’s last name.

There are no rehearsals when it comes to Greek Orthodox weddings. I learned what little I could about the ceremony by watching video of my in-laws’ wedding, and having various people explain things to me. But still, I was not prepared.

I was not prepared for everyone waiting outside the church with Thanos and having to make a grand entrance when I arrived with my father and our koumbaros (best man). I was not prepared for our height differences to cause such a problem in keeping the stefana (crowns) on our heads. I was not prepared to walk around the altar three times without slipping. Most importantly, I was not prepared for my in-laws throwing rice at me at speeds that would put major league pitchers to shame while I was trying to balance my way around the altar. I think my mother-in-law almost got me in the eye, for goodness sakes. I was shaking rice out of my hair and various orifices for weeks after that. But it is ok. There are more weddings to attend, and who knows, some day my hand might slip and accidentally throw a handful of rice at my in-laws.

The reception was fun, but with 200 odd guests to greet and toast we didn’t get much of a chance to sit down and enjoy it. Towards the end I guess we did, but by that time, I was beat. It seems I was too busy being a bride to enjoy being a bride.

Three years later, our life is much calmer. We’ve been there, done that. And now all we have to do is enjoy each other.

Hume-Fogg: Just a bunch of nerds having a good time

That was one of the mantras of the Hume-Fogg Class of '87, and we owned the title of nerd with pride and good humor. We were nerds before being a nerd was cool, after all.

Hume-Fogg has once again left me beaming with pride, as it seems they are still offering Nashville kids a pretty damn good education, ranking 43rd in a Newsweek ranking of the top high schools in the U.S. My education at Hume-Fogg was the best I could have asked for - from Bill Brown teaching us about having "furniture" in our poetry to Alice Sanford having us sing Beatles' songs in Latin. Let me tell you, Yellow Submarine was quite a challenge, especially keeping it in rhythm. Those were years I will never forget.

Congratulations, Hume-Fogg, you've earned it. But we all know you've been giving kids a great education for years. It's just that now you have national recognition for it.

Beggers can't be choosers

First a confession - yes, I've gotten sucked in to Lisa Loeb's reality show on E! I knew I would the first time I saw a commercial for it. She's 37 and desperately single. What's not to like? Besides, I get such low dosages of reality TV here in Greece I need something, at least til Survivor - Greece/Turkey takes off. (Ok, I'm kidding about that last thing, for one thing I can't understand enough Greek to watch, let alone understand enough mumbly lazily spoken Greek to watch, and for another I hate the survivor shows)

So anyway, here she is, really to settle down and have a baby. At 37, the clock is ticking, girlfriend (believe me, I know this all too well). So she goes out on two dates with this really, really kyoot, employed, nice, funny 30-year-old guy. But she decides that the age difference is too weird, that she is really too old for a 30-year-old. What?!? Are you friggin' kidding me here, Lisa Loeb? The difference between 30 and 37, at least as far as these two singles go, is about the same as the difference between Nutella and Merenda. A slight difference in taste and texture, but basically both sweet, creamy hazelnut bliss. This is also a subject I know too well. I'm 36 and my husband is 30. And I'm pretty sure I'm not going to be that different a person when I roll over on 37.

I guess the thing is, had she gone for this guy the show would be over. Still, he was a keeper, in my book. Ms. Loeb ain't going to be hearing any wedding bells or giving birth to any babies if she gets this critical.