My husband cannot swallow pills. And by cannot, I mean I have to force open his mouth with those duck bill looking gynecological tools and shove the pills down his throat. Most of the time it doesn’t matter – any pill he takes either has a dissolvable form or is small enough that he can pretend he isn’t taking a pill at all. But we’ve started taking vitamins of late, and we all know they can’t seem to find a way to make vitamins human sized. I’m sure it is a big joke to the vitamin conglomerate to feed the public pills large enough for a horse – the gagged up pills alone are worth a fortune in replacements.
For weeks my husband had been struggling with taking the vitamins. It required complete silence – no one could move, breathe, or speak when he tried to swallow the vitamin, and even then, it was a crap shoot on whether or not he could get it down. One time I swear I saw our three cats huddled together in the next room taking bets on whether or not he would swallow the damn thing. Hell, I would have gotten in on that action.
After all this time, my frustration level finally peaked. I have better ways to spend a half hour than watching my husband gag and spit out a giant pill twenty times. So I shouted at him: “You’re a doctor, for christ’s sake! Just swallow the damn thing already!”
Needless to say (oh hell, I'm saying it anyway) he no longer has a problem taking the vitamins.