As I Lay Undying

It seems that seven years ago, William Faulkner's daughter found among her father's things a completely finished, unproduced screenplay - about vampires.

I have two diametrically opposed thoughts about this. Firstly, no way, no how. Faulkner only wrote screenplays to make easy money and even then he never seemed entirely pleased about the process. But hey, that's what American writers back then had to do. So anyway, why would he write a complete, feature length screenplay that never got made? Had someone commissioned him to do it, but decided against it in the end? Because that seems to me the only way he would have written such a thing.

But then, when I think about Faulkner's body of work and his relationship with the deep, dark South, I can see how he might be tempted by vampires. Yet his screenplay is set in Eastern Europe, not the South. Would Faulkner really have written something not set in the South? Why a screenplay and not a novel?

It seems as though producer Lee Caplin is moving forward with a movie based on the screenplay, but I still have my doubts about its authenticity. If if was something he wrote for someone else and not a personally inspired work, should we be seeing it on the big screen as a Faulkner work?

I guess this serves as a caution to all writers: be careful what you leave behind.

Cornucopia

Thanksgiving can be a surreal experience when you are living abroad. It is a holiday that takes years of conditioning – frantic, last minute grocery shopping on Wednesday, overeating on Thursday, Christmas shopping on Friday, and swearing you’ll never so much as look at another turkey or pumpkin pie again on Saturday. Over the years this settles into a comfortable, if slightly neurotic, routine. It can’t be an American holiday without an appropriate amount of neurosis, after all.

Obviously, Greeks don’t celebrate Thanksgiving, considering they are not a country founded by wayward pilgrims who saw the devil in nature and decided that razing, partitioning, and selling land was a good way to settle themselves in their new found freedom. I don’t know for sure, but I am fairly certain that no Greeks shared a thankful feast with aborigines they would systematically exploit and drive away, but that’s a different story altogether. Honestly, I’m not knocking Thanksgiving. I do think there is a lot of goodness in the core of the holiday, and any excuse to eat good food, make merry with friends and family, and be thankful for all you have is a good one.

My conditioned responses set in the Monday before Thanksgiving. I frantically make a grocery list, knowing that I should go to the store before Wednesday to avoid the insane rush of last minute shoppers. When I inevitably end up going to the store on Wednesday anyway (best laid plans, and all that) I stare incredulously at the near empty store.

“But, it’s 4pm on the day before Thanksgiving!!!” I cry out, exasperated.

People look at me curiously. Then it hits me. This is not America. It is not the day before eat-yourself-sick day in Greece. Ironically, it is smack dab in the throes of the Orthodox forty day fasting period before Christmas. It is a good thing America isn’t made up primarily of Orthodox Christians, or fasting might be a thing of the past.

Thankfully, most of the people staring decide that I am just another crazy American and go back to their business. The full realization sinks in. No turkey. No stuffing. No squash casserole. No homemade rolls. No mashed taters. No pumpkin pie. (Well, unless I decide to cook these things for myself, which is a huge mathematical improbability. Improbable, but not impossible.) No holiday cheer. No parade. No football. No Christmas sales. No family imbroglio. Just another day like any other day.

Each year I keep thinking that maybe I’ll forget Thanksgiving, that I’ll wake up one day and realize that Thanksgiving had come and gone and I gave it nary a thought. But somehow that never happens. The Thanksgiving conditioning automatically kicks in as easily as my instinct for survival. Pavlov might be impressed. I figure one of two things can happen. After about thirty years of living abroad, I’ll lose the conditioning, or I’ll start cooking my own Thanksgiving dinners, thus reinforcing it. The improbable might become probable. It might snow in August on a Greek island. Greek politicians might stop being corrupt. America might legalize gay marriage and overturn any constitutional amendments banning it. Fish might grow legs. Pigs might fly. But in the end, it will still be just another day – another day among all the days that I celebrate everything I am thankful for.

To all of you who are celebrating this thankful holiday, Happy Thanksgiving. To all of you who aren’t, perhaps you can take just a moment to think about all the things you are thankful for, and rejoice for a moment.

Thank you very much, Gwen Stefani

Thanks to Mrs. Rossdale's latest release, I can't get the effing goatherd song from The Sound of Music out of my head.

Everywhere I go, everything I try to do, it is in my head. It haunts me even now, as I try to sleep.

Sadly, one of my favorite songs as a child has now been ruined by excessive airplay.

RIP, lonely goatherd
Odl lay ee (odl lay ee)
Odl lay hee hee

You know you are married to a doctor when...

…you open up your sewing box and find sutures

…you can’t watch a medical show without hearing complaints about everything they are doing wrong

…you can’t be in the bathroom when he/she is washing their hands without getting sprayed by the “doctor shake” when they are done

…you tell him/her that they are getting on your last nerve and they draw an accurate picture of a nerve with a little stick person on it

…you find yourself constantly washing scrubs and white coats

…your house is littered with office supplies bearing the names of various pharmaceuticals

…you can’t complain of a scratchy throat without having a tongue depressor shoved in your mouth and your spouse looking at you from behind a tiny light

A very sad day

May she walk peacefully along the oceans of the great unknown.

Goodbye GAC/BJ. I wish I had had the chance to get to know you better.

My thoughts are with AT/Jake, their two young sons, and his family and friends during this terrible time of loss.

Conservative estimate?

This story reports that 1% of web sites indexed by Google and Microsoft contain sexually explicit material. 1%? Are you effing kidding me?

Every time I turn around I see some link inviting me to peruse some salacious web site. Now, maybe these are false links without pornographic content, but honestly, can I really believe that only 1% of web sites out there have pornographic content? The internet, after all, was created for the free exchange of ideas and information porn, so let's be realistic.

Maybe the proliferation of bloggers has crunched the numbers down some, but if I was going to make a conservative guess myself I might have said 5%, with a personal belief that the true number is around 10%.

The study the story was reporting on focuses on numbers to try to breathe new life into the 1998 Child Online Protection Act, which would require a credit card or some other kind of "proof" of age before you can view pornographic material online. As if a child can't get his parent's credit card/driver's license/ID card info. The Supreme Court shot down this law in 2004, citing a breach in an adult's right to look at and buy what they want on the internet.

While I'm not thrilled with the idea of children ending up gazing open-mouthed at lascivious web sites, I'm equally unenthused about someone having to share their identity and/or credit card information to look at porn. The ACLU claims filters work well, and I'm sure they work reasonably well. The thing is, you can be searching for some perfectly innocent things and end up staring point blank at some full frontal. I don't have any particular objection to porn in general, it serves a need I suppose, but I'm certainly not a big fan. Despite my lukewarm sentiments, I do think adult people should have the right to look at porn if they wanna. When it comes to children, well, I don't think they should be exposed to porn, but I also don't think they should be brought up to be ashamed or disgusted at the human body. But there is a big difference in a teenage boy hiding a stack of Playboys and the same boy crawling into a site that would put the Marquis de Sade to shame.

Obviously, the European point of view regarding porn is a wee bit different. Porn is hanging in plain sight at kiosks everywhere. Naked breasts can be found on network TV without being blurred, and movie channels show a porn movie every night after midnight. To be honest, I much prefer living in a society where it is all out in the open, but I might feel a bit differently if I had children. Still, if my child saw a picture of a naked woman, I wouldn't start screaming and shield his or her eyes. That just makes them more curious.

Alas, I digress. My point is, I don't believe that porn makes up only 1% of web sites. Of course, I could be wrong. It has been known to happen, on rare occasions when pigs fly and it rains blood.

The great elevator shakedown of 2006

After three months of nonstop apartment building drama, we are finally getting our new elevator installed. The downside of this is that it means schlepping up six flights of stairs for three weeks, but that is a small price to pay for an elevator that doesn't constantly make you wonder if you would survive a drop from the second floor. We all know that the third floor+ is certain death, but a second floor fall is a grey area.

The original plan was for the elevator installation to start sometime in September. The bills were passed around in late July, so there was plenty of time for folks to come up with their share. But of course, there was a problem. The people on the first floor claimed they never used the elevator and thus had no intention of paying their paltry share of the bill. While it is true that on occasion I witnessed first floor folks using the stairs, it was always when the elevator was in use and people were waiting, so I reckon it was faster for them to just walk up a flight of stairs. However, there were plenty of times that I called the elevator to find it was "parked" on the first floor, or waited for the elevator to come down from the first floor, or found the elevator door wide open (thus halting all use of the elevator) on the first floor, therefore, it was utilized quite a bit by the first floor residents. So in addition to being cheap and whiney bitches, they are also big fat liars.

When September came and went and still no elevator, we got wind of some of the internal drama that was going on in the building. The first floor folks were outright refusing to pay for the elevator - and what would the solution be? There was some discussion of the rest of us making up for their share and just cementing over the elevator shaft on the first floor. Instead, the building manager decided to go with the shame and ridicule approach, posting a notice about paying for the elevator and a list showing who had not yet paid. None of the owners of first floor apartments were paying, along with their old woman toady on the seventh floor. This was an outright conspiracy!

In the end, it came down to "well, if he pays, I'll pay", and somehow it all worked out. I don't know for sure if the first floor has completely paid up, but I assume they did. If they didn't, I'm sure we'll be in for more drama after the elevator is completed. Maybe they'll even hire some Kostas from Crete to break some fingers. Anything to liven up the place.

For now, I'm just trying to get used to climbing six flights of stairs. I'm a bit worried that, should the neighbors hear me coming, they'll think I'm the big bad wolf coming to huff and puff and blow their apartment down. Here's hoping that by the end of this three weeks I'll be in better shape.

Nashville/Thessaloniki, same difference

I was gazing at my time and temp. gizmos just now and I realized that Nashville and Thessaloniki are at this moment the exact same temperature. Of course, it is 3am here and 7pm there, but so what - these little things tie both cities together for me, and make me feel closer to home. Wherever that is.

Deck the halls

Behold, the people of Greece were forlorn as they had no Thanksgiving to mark the beginning of the Christmas season. What light would guide them to start celebrating the holy joy of Christ’s birth? And lo, the Lord heard their sorrow and presented unto them the giant Coca-Cola, who each year would bring joy to the hearts and minds of the Greeks by presenting them with festively decorated drink cans denoting the official commencement of the holiday season. And the people rejoiced, despite the fact that the holiday seemed to start earlier and earlier each year.

Defining faith

Most people that know me, and some who read this blog frequently, know that I don’t do religion. I can’t do religion. Apparently, part of what I lack is faith, but a big part of it also involves not wanting to be a hypocrite by saying I believe in something in its entirety when I have issues with some parts of the whole. Over the past few months I’ve been trying to grow a little bit, to understand more about religion, and see if maybe somehow, some way, I can find faith in something beyond the temporal, physical, logical plane.

My husband has been translating the New Testament for me, because I wanted a simple translation that is as close to the original as possible. As poetic as translations into English are, it seems that some things are changed, in small ways, when trying to translate it into something that sounds beatific and wise in English. Sure, the gist is still the same, but language is important. I’m not doing well with the Bible just the same, there are so many things I find contentious – things that bother me, but maybe with a better understanding and good discussions with people that have faith I’ll work through it all. We’ll see. Of course I still fast with my husband on Wednesdays and Fridays – I support him wholeheartedly in his faith, although I don’t go to church with him on Sundays. Realistically speaking, even if I had faith, I don’t see myself getting up at 8am on Sundays. I guess I’m just not ready to sacrifice in that way. He understands that we are not at the same place – and may never be.

Yet recently, the devastatingly real struggle for life, health, and happiness that is going on right now for GAC and her family has led me down an unusual path. I want her to be ok, to be the same person she was before this ordeal began. I want her to live a long, happy life of health and well-being. I have faith that this can be accomplished by the hope, thoughts and prayers of people that love her, know her, and strangers like me from around the globe (although I don’t entirely think of myself as a stranger to AT and GAC, as I wrote before). Am I saying that I believe in prayer? Am I saying that I have faith?

Today was the second time I attended vespers this week – really the second time ever I’ve participated in an evening prayer (although there is a time that this may have occurred at a Methodist camp in Beersheba when I was a teenager – the details are sketchy and a bit dubious). I went each time for the sole purpose of lighting candles for GAC, and ended up staying for the prayer. I haven’t actually been fond of the Greek Orthodox Churches I’ve been in, they’ve been overly resplendent with gilded ornamentation in a such a way as to be distracting. In our neighborhood alone, there are three churches within very close proximity, and probably another dozen or so more in easy walking distance. My husband has been of late attending Acheiropoeitos, one of the older churches in our neighborhood, and so that is where we went.

I like this church, surprisingly. The interior is very unassuming, with a modest amount of shine and ornaments, along with some very austere iconic artwork. It is all stone, marble and wood - very dark, gothic, ethereal. As I was sitting there, ensconced within the warm smell of incense, surrounded by candlelight, with the soothing chants of the priest echoing in my ears, I felt a sense of peace – a peace I have never felt anywhere else but there, at that moment, in that church. I was sitting in a passageway where there was a marble step that had been so worn down by centuries of worshippers it could no longer be called a step, but a spillway – and suddenly I felt as if the faith of all those who passed there before me had gushed forth, flowing in and around me. It was a comfort, an odd feeling for me. I don’t understand what it meant, but somehow I feel as if I am a step closer to something I can’t describe or imagine. Maybe I am finding my faith, or maybe not. I suppose it doesn’t really matter. What matters is the honest search, the continuing journey.

Keep hope alive

Things are looking better for AT's wife GAC, but she isn't out of the woods yet. This is just a reminder to keep her in your prayers, thoughts, and hopes. If the Democrats can gain control of Congress, we can bring a 29-year-old mother home healthy, happy, and safe to her husband and children.

The picture of her helps direct the prayers, but if AT wants me to take it down, I will.

The people have spoken

7 states elected to pass constitutional amendments that, among other things, ban same-sex marriage. Arizona said hell no to a ban on same-sex marriage.

South Dakota did not pass a near-total abortion ban. Thank goodness.

Democrats are in control of the House. The Senate is still a bit up in the air, but it seems to be neck and neck.

People must be tired of Republicans. For the sake of all Americans, I hope the Democrats do better.

Yes, I am disappointed about the same-sex marriage decisions, but I didn't expect much better. I did have a bit of hope, though. This is, after all, what voting is all about.

May God, Allah, Buddah, Zeus, and any other politically correct deities bless America.

A view from abroad

From Kathimerini

In more upbeat news...

This headline reports that "Greek Economy is on Good Truck", which is certainly a good thing, because we wouldn't want it on one of those bad trucks with bad tires and poor suspension spinning out of control all the time.

EDIT: Bah, they fixed it now. Ok, next time, ERT can make fun of my poor Greek translations

A midterm night's dream

Well, tomorrow is midterm election day, and to some extent, it seems rather trivial discussing politics when people in the world are struggling for life and dying. Then I remember that the reason some people are struggling for life and dying is because of politics and I realize that perhaps it isn’t so trivial after all.

My absentee ballot has long since been mailed, although generally speaking I wasn’t thrilled with the choices in the good ol’ state of Tennessee. Ostensibly, the big thing about this election is whether or not Republicans will lose control of Congress. While I consider myself a Democrat, if you ask me to answer honestly if I think Democratic control of Congress would make a difference I’d say probably not. Still, a different approach can’t hurt, can it? I certainly hope not. At any rate, the races are close and it is possible that the GOP will still have control after tomorrow, even though I think Republican control of the three facets of government really sort of defeats the purpose of the whole “checks and balances” idea. Whatever.

For me, the most important aspect of this particular election is the marriage amendment. I think something like eight states total are presenting marriage amendments to their constitutions in this election. Tennessee’s amendment basically states that marriage will be defined as that between one man and one woman, and it also acknowledges that any legal marriages outside the state of Tennessee that do not fall under the same guidelines will not be recognized. I know some Europeans find the idea of such an amendment offensive, especially the latter part – they see it as just another example of American superciliousness and defiance in the face of the world, and I suppose I see their point.

Obviously, this amendment would limit marriage of many kinds, but most tragically it would disallow forever any same-sex marriages in Tennessee. Sure, one reason I disapprove of this amendment is because I believe that it is morally wrong to have an amendment restricting same-sex marriage. But I feel that despite one’s like or dislike of homosexuality, the real reason to vote no on this amendment is because the constitution is meant to protect the rights of the people, not take them away. I’ve seen some conservatives lament that this amendment must be passed because god forbid, if it doesn’t, then polygamy will be rampant, farmers will marry their cows, dogs will marry cats and pigs will lose their curly little tails. Well, let me present you with some hyperbole from the other side. If we start messing with constitutional amendments that restrict rights, what is to keep more particular amendments from rearing their ugly little conservative heads? What happens if the next amendment restricts marriage to that between one white woman and one white man? Or between one American woman and one American man? Sure, I can see the answer to that – it would never happen. But I never thought an amendment like this one would happen either. It doesn’t matter if you are gay or straight, married or single, this amendment actually does restrict your rights – whether it affects you or not. Next time around, it might be an amendment that actually impedes on your happiness. Do we really want to start pulling at that thread, only to have the fabric of American rights unravel before us?

I realize that for some people the need to “protect” the world from homosexuality is too strong to think rationally about this amendment. But for those of you who are really unsure, perhaps take a moment to think about it before you cast your vote.

To all of you, vote well, vote with your minds and not just your hearts. But most of all, revel in your right to vote, and GO VOTE!

All is not lost

You know how it is when you are watching a good movie – one of those movies that really sucks you in, with characters you can identify with, or at the very least grow attached to because they are good people, real people, people you want to be happy and have good lives with everything working out great for them in the end. If something happens to one of these characters you hope beyond hope that somehow, some way, it will all work out ok in the end, that they will survive, persevere, and overcome everything that ails them. You feel it so strongly, that if the movie takes a turn for the worse, if something bad happens, it is as if it has happened to someone you love and care about. It is crushing, horrible defeat – and with every movie like that there is the same hope, the same strength, the same unbeatable will growing inside you to help the character survive. The same thing happens with novels too, although more often than not the spirit gets defeated in ways you can’t even imagine, but you live and breathe hope through this character until the final outcome, whatever that may be.

In this wide world connected so intangibly by the internet, we meet people, we know people, but these are people we only see on the screen, like a movie or a book. You read their thoughts and feelings every day on blogs and through their websites, and it is a weird connection – you feel attached in an odd way – they’ve become a sort of extended family, even though technically speaking you don’t know them. Yet when something happens to them, whether they are trying to get a new job, or buying a house, or having a baby, or become seriously ill – you feel that connection even stronger – you want them to succeed, to get what they want, to be healthy and happy and strong.

In the last few days a fellow blogger has become seriously ill, deathly ill, and through the pained and beautiful posts of her husband we are kept aware of how she is doing, how he is doing, how a man faces the potential loss of the woman he loves. And it is devastating. And I feel that old familiar feeling, that hope beyond hope, that if anything can happen in life, can we just somehow make sure she comes out of this ok, so she can continue being a friend, a daughter, a wife, a mother - a human being who walks this earth, full of life and hope and even sadness and regret, because everything we experience includes all the good and the bad, and just to be alive is to be grateful for both.

This post is dedicated to the struggle for life that is going on at this moment halfway around the world from me, in a hospital in East Tennessee. For GAC, for her husband AT, and for her family, I pray for her recovery.

Telemarketing is pure evil

When I left Nashville, telemarketing had become a major nuisance. I could count on at least one call a night, if not more, usually at the most inopportune times. It got to the point where I stopped being polite and attempted to use whatever powers I could muster to smite said caller back to the netherworld where he/she came from. They are tough lil' buggers, though.

Greece was a refreshing change. We could go for months without the phone ringing unnecessarily. Telemarketing had not yet cast its evil eye on the Greek market and it was a very good thing. Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end, and slowly but surely telemarketing has picked up here. It isn't anywhere near as bad it was in the U.S., but we can guarantee that telemarketing call is going to come at a time when it really isn't convenient, not that such calls are ever convenient.

My husband is a bit of a pushover. While he won't buy anything, he is quite polite, listens to their pitch and responds amiably. I, on the other hand, have discovered the perfect device for offputting telemarkers in Greece. Whenever we get a call that shows up as "private caller" on caller ID (which could, of course, be family members so we just have to answer, don't we), I pick up and answer with the loudest, most obnoxious Southern belle hello I can muster. This is usually met with a few seconds of fumbling and muttering - obviously the caller has momentarily lost the ability to speak in their own language - and then I hear "Signomi, lathos". Not even sorry, wrong number, just sorry, wrong. Well yes, you are wrong. Quite wrong. Just to ruffle their feathers a bit more, I answer with "endaksi" and hang up. Let them mull that over a bit. Maybe she did speak Greek? But she sounded so...so...AMERICAN!

Look, I know that for some people telemarketing pays the bills. It has opened the doors to thousands, perhaps millions of jobs worldwide. But that doesn't diminish the fact that telemarketing is pure evil, and email spam is its hellish little spawn. I honestly think I would rather starve to death, and let my family starve to death, than work as a telemarketer. That's just me.

At least now I know the perfect trick to use with telemarkets should we ever return to the U.S. I can answer the phone with a hearty Greek greeting and see what happens. I might get lucky, or I might end up on the line with one of the millions of Greeks who have immigrated to the U.S. I guess you can't win them all.

Wow

My husband watched five minutes of Ta Koritsia Gilmore* and his head didn't explode. There is hope for him yet.







*I am just now watching the second season and I realize the show is in its seventh season, so please don't tell me what happens, like my sister-in-law started to do before I put my hands over my ears and started singing "John, Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt" at the top of my lungs.

You know you are getting old when...

...you select your birth year from a scroll down menu that starts at 2006 and get carpal tunnel from scrolling down so far.

Every day is Halloween

No holiday makes me miss America more than Halloween. Greece might as well not even be aware of its existence, for the little people seem to know about it. The only knowledge most Greeks seem to have of Halloween is gleaned from Hollywood, and we all know that is the most accurate source of information on anything American.

The traditional ghost story also seems rather absent from Greek life. In America, in just about any town that has a population of at least twenty people you can find a haunted house, or barn, or some local lore about some ghost or other that just won’t leave people be. Here in Greece, supernatural stories seem to exist on a grand scale, and you almost never hear individual stories of hauntings in someone’s home. No, Greeks don’t have a ghost or two haunting a house, they have a whole damn ghost army. They have snakes that appear spontaneously in a church. They have haunted caves, haunted woods, haunted mountains. But the haunted house is a rare phenomenon.

One of the most famous Greek ghost stories involves the Drosoulites of Crete, a ghost army that appears every year at dawn on May 17^th at the ruins of Agios Charalambos, marches towards the fort at Fragokastello and eventually disappears into the sea. Many people have claimed to have seen this vision and science has not yet been able to explain it with rational facts. The army is so clear to the eye that the Turks fired on them in 1890, as did the Germans in World War II. Now that’s spooky. I fully intend to visit Crete some May 17^th so I can have a chance of seeing the ghost army for myself.

Davelis Cave , along with the mountain it lies on, are reported to be sites for strange paranormal occurrences. Located on the Pendeli mountain just outside Athens, people have claimed to see odd beasts on the mountain, from giant bats to horned men, and odd things have occurred in the cave, from moving balls of light to the cave being swarmed with domestic cats.

On the island of Kefalonia the denizens of the village of Markopoulo celebrate the feast of the Virgin on August 15^th. During the religious services marking this holiday, small snakes with black marks like the sign of the cross on their heads appear at the bell tower and make their way towards the church. Thousands of snakes crawl into the church, slithering over people on their way to their final destination – the bishop’s throne and the icon of Mary. After the celebrations they disappear as quickly as they appeared, and no sign is seen of them again until the next year. The snakes are welcomed by the locals, and do no harm to people. The snakes are thought to be the spirits of nuns from the village, who in 1705, upon attack by pirates, prayed to the Virgin Mary to be turned into snakes to avoided being captured. Apparently, their prayers were answered.

No doubt Greece is filled with more stories of the supernatural, as you can’t help but walk through the streets without feeling the presence of thousands of years of history.

Happy Halloween from Greece!

Gone with the wind

One thing I was never quite prepared for upon arriving in Greece was the wind. Sure, we had wind in Nashville, sometimes pretty darn strong. But I never experienced anything like the wind I’ve experienced here in Greece. Athens wasn’t so bad, at least I don’t remember it being too terribly bad. When we moved to Kos I remember some folks saying something about the tremendous winds there but you know, it is wind, how bad can it be? The answer is bad. Pretty darn bad. When we moved to the mountain it wasn’t much better, and here in Thessaloniki, being as close to the sea as we are, the wind gets pretty frightening, making booming, godlike sounds as it whips through cracks in building walls and weaves its way through the city streets.

When we were in Athens, I noticed a lot of people had awnings over their balconies, and boy did I covet those awnings. They are great for keeping the sun from blinding you during the day and especially practical in keeping the balcony dry when you have laundry out and the weather turns moist. We weren’t graced with an apartment that had awnings until we moved to the mountain, and that is when I learned that with the wonderful awnings comes a grave and important responsibility.

It seems that the great winds that blow through Greece are not especially awning friendly, in fact, it would appear that awnings and wind are great enemies of yore, constantly battling for dominance. And so the awnings must be raised when the winds come, to keep them from ripping apart and causing general havoc, not to mention pacifying the landlords. There was many a day I opened the shutters on the balcony to find that one of the landlords had climbed onto our balcony to raise our awnings in the face of the bitter wind. Oops.

I learned a great lesson in awning maintenance while living on the mountain, and that is why, if I wake up at 4am and hear the wind chimes singing like angels hopped up on LSD, I make a mad dash for the balcony to put up the awning. There is a trick to it though, because the act of raising the awning creates an insane, demonic sound, as if wild pigs were loose on the city and very, very hungry. So I have to turn the crank carefully and slowly, which isn’t very much fun at 4am when freezing, gusting winds are threatening to blow your soul to kingdom come.

I suppose I could be one of those brilliant people who lowers the awning in the morning and puts it up again when the sun goes down, thus avoiding all the rushing outside at 4am incidents. This would make a relative amount of sense, except that I am a bit lazy when it comes to general, routine maintenance activities such as raising and lowering awnings. Not to mention I enjoy the extra bit of privacy having them down allows. So for now I’ll take my stand between the wind and the awning whenever I am called, hoping that one day the battle will not be lost.

You want beer with that?

One thing I just can't get used to in Greece is seeing someone drinking a mug of beer in a fast food restaurant. Sixteen-year-olds can drink here and no one gets their panties in a wad about alcohol consumption, no matter where it is. I almost never hear about drunk driving accidents, and I rarely see people walking around town shit-faced drunk (except for a few tourists).

I find it in interesting that you find the reverse to be true in the U.S., which is less permissive regarding alcohol consumption than Greece. Drunk driving accidents are fairly common in America, I can see openly drunk people walking around any given night (at least, in Nashville), and you can't drink until you are twenty-one. And you certainly can't buy a beer in Burger King.

It would seem that a permissive society makes people happier and more responsible. Either that or it makes them indifferent.

A day of No

Today is Οχι Day in Greece, which I blogged about last year and probably will every year as long as I am blogging. It takes guts to be the underdog and still stand up to your enemies, which in my eyes is kinda what this day is all about.

What this day is really about, however, usually ends up being annoyance at shops being closed, near dead city streets, and fighter planes scaring the bejesus out of my cats.

Even so, I stand in adulation of the brave Greeks who sacrificed much in World War II. I am honored to be here and be able to be a part of the remembrance of this day.

Outrage in the Greek blogosphere

The Greek blogosphere is all aflutter about an incident involving the administrator/owner of a Greek blog search engine, Blogme.gr. I have the disadvantage of reading the Greek accounts of what exactly has happened, but there are accounts in English here, here, and here. Now, if we are to take this news at face value, ie. that the administrator of the site had his house searched, his computer seized, and was placed in detention due to a link to a blog that allegedly posted a slanderous post about a Greek public figure, then there are a few things that are problematic with the system here in Greece.

Search and seizure is a pretty major operation for a simple slander case. I highly doubt there is a judge in America that would sign a warrant for this type of action under such circumstances. Most slander cases begin with paperwork from lawyers. Now, if the crime committed here is merely slander, and the public figure has such pull that he can request a judge sign a warrant for search and seizure not of the offending blog writer but the administrator of a site that links to the allegedly slanderous post – then obviously Greece isn’t getting very far in correcting the whole misuse of justice issue. I also realize that the search and seizure of the administrator’s home could also be from a general ignorance of how the internet works on the part of government and law enforcement officials. And they wonder why more people in Greece don’t use computers. Huh.

Slander is a pretty hard thing to prove, even in the good ol’ overly litigious US of A. Generally speaking, you have to prove that it is something that can be reasonably believed – ie., if you post that “so and so has sex with fuschia elephants”, then no one can reasonably believe that to be true, because there are no fuschia elephants. However, publications that publish allegedly slanderous material can be cited along with the writers, and this is where it gets interesting. Internet law is still such a wasteland there hasn’t been a ton of precedent. Does the mere posting of a link to a slanderous article make someone liable? Or do you have to post something along the lines of “hey, read this true article about so and so posted at this link”. I don’t know what the laws are regarding slander are here in Greece, but if they are worded in such a way that allows the administrator of an automated aggregator of blogs to be liable, then there is a big problem here.

Now, I say all this with a degree of caution because, like I said before, I don’t have all the facts of the case. There may be a lot more to this story, which may or may not have made the actions of law enforcement justifiable. If the laws of Greece make such actions justifiable under the simple claim of slander, then these laws need to be rewritten, and fast, otherwise Greece is going to fall on a downward spiral that limits freedom of speech, which isn’t quite appropriate for an EU country.

UPDATE: There is a listing of all blogs posting about this issue at magicasland, and a post at CNET about it. Thanks to DeviousDiva for those links, and for reminding me that a UN summit about the future of the Internet is being held in Athens starting this weekend.

UPDATE #2: kierenmccarthy.co.uk has the skinny on the people involved in this case. I didn't even know Greece had any televangelists!

Expat Interviews

My interview with the lovely people at Expat Interviews is now posted and available for reading and/or general mockery. I have the honor of being the first expat in Greece at their informative site and they would like to hear from more expats in Greece (and no doubt more from various places around the globe). If you are interested in giving an interview peruse their site and then give them a shout out.

I noticed, upon further reflection, that when talking about fellow Greek bloggers I left out the wonderful Flubberwinkle. My mistake! I had every intention of including her.

Is it something in the water?

Sure, Greece has its share of tourist deaths, especially during the peak seasons. Not only do we have all kinds of water for people to drown in, there are ancient ruins that can tumble, mountains to climb and gulches to fall into. But this year there have been three violent murder/suicide/injury/unknown cause incidents, all involving Brits on what should have been a pleasant holiday in the land of sun and sea.

The latest incident involves a family of four who were found poisoned in their hotel room on the island of Corfu. The two children, ages 6 and 7, were found dead, the parents are in comas. There is some suggestion that poison mushrooms might be involved, but no hard evidence is available yet.

In August, a man jumped from his hotel room balcony holding his son and daughter, killing his son and injuring his daughter and himself.

Earlier this month, a man was charged with attempted murder in the fall of his girlfriend from their hotel room balcony. Both of the latter incidents were on Crete.

All tragic incidents, all quite horrifying. I am so saddened by the the recent tragedy, especially if it is an accident of food poisoning of some kind. I pray that there is no evidence of a foul play. My thoughts are with the loved ones and the parents as they cling to life. May they find some blessings in their time of grief.

UPDATE: This article from the BBC website confirms that the children died from carbon monoxide poisoning from a gas leak. The police are looking into charging the hotel with negligent manslaughter. Both adults have regained consciousness, but have not been informed of the deaths of the children. I am outraged at the insensitivity that seems to have been shown the family by the hotel staff, as it appears the husband asked for help while he was still conscious. My heart goes out to this family, and poor mother of these two children, who had to get the call about their deaths from a thousand miles away.

My husband made me watch Rambo

That is grounds for divorce, isn't it?

No? Well then, I guess he'll just have to come with me to see The Devil Wears Prada.

Yia mas

Greece cornered the market on feta production in the EU, now, they officially have the right to ouzo production. Brand protection seems to be a rather hot topic in the EU, with similar rulings being passed for champagne in France. Now I'm know there are plenty of dissenters about such things, but these types of things that come from traditional cultures in the EU deserve such protections. Besides, if you ever drink ouzo, you always assume it comes from Greece. At least I always did. There is an expectation there.

Yia mas to Greece for earning the exclusive rights to ouzo. May you drink it well.

What exactly are they trying to pull?

On an almost daily basis, delivery restaurant goons make their way into apartment buildings all over Greece and slide menus under doors. Often, they are repeats or updated menus of places that we have already tried and discarded (or tried and liked). But today, amongst the rabble of usual suspects was a new pizza place entitled "Domino Pizza". No, not Domino's. Domino. No apostrophe S.

Sure, there are Domino's Pizza places here in Greece (not in Thessaloniki though, that I know of) so people are at least somewhat familiar with the brand name. I suppose these people think they are being clever, well I got news for them - they aren't. Their menu went straight to file 13.

A week for united nations

Yesterday was the official United Nations Day, commemorating the day in which the United Nations Charter was formed on October 24, 1945. The entire week is devoted to festivities celebrating the United Nations, with tonight's concert sponsored by the Greek government and featuring the National Symphony of Greece.

The Evzones elite guard marked United Nations Day yesterday with a march by the Parthenon.

Personally, I'm not entirely sure the U.N. is something to be celebrated, but I suppose they've done some good here and there. Just not good enough.

Photo courtesy Kathimerini

It's a geek's world

You know you’ve been using computers too long when you are writing longhand with pen and paper and panic for a moment because you try to hit Ctrl-S in thin air and there is no way to do it.

Caffeine nation

I’m not certain, but I think the success (or is it failure?) of a household is proportionate to the number of coffee varieties available at any given moment. We are currently up to eight different types of coffee (and two types of hot chocolate) so we might be doing ok.

This is somehow related to the number of alcohol choices available, but I’m not sure exactly how. We need some work in that area, although we do currently have two different types of scotch and some Jack Daniels. The latter is really all any household needs, right?

The two party system:double the pleasure, double the fun!

This is what Americans have to choose from for the midterm Congressional elections on Nov. 7:

The Republicans:

The Arabs Are Coming (via Volunteer Voters)

The Democrats:

Where is Osama?

The world should be afraid.

(UPDATE: The Republican commercial has actually made Greek news)

Pop music is all alike

For some reason, at midday, one of my neighbors has deemed it necessary to blare the Greek equivalents of Justin Timberlake and Britney Spears at decibel levels somewhere between a pig’s scream and the voice of God. This has been going on daily this week, and while I am the last person in the world to begrudge someone the full enjoyment of their tunes, I’d really prefer not to hear it so loudly that I can’t even listen to my own music without getting in some sort of battle of the bands scenario, with both of our stereo systems blasting past a volume setting of 11.

I haven’t blogged much about Greek music because I avoid it like the plague. Sure, I can find some fun in our Eurovision Song Contest winning song and I always support the Greek contestant even if I hate the song. I enjoy traditional Greek music immensely and I adore the Greek Orthodox chants. But I cannot withstand Greek pop music even for a second.

Greek music comes in four basic forms*:

- traditional music, music from villages, islands, and such – which I really enjoy

- modern music that uses traditional music as its base, which isn’t too bad

- modern pop music that uses a blend of things, including rhythms from American or British pop music, creating sounds that make your ears bleed

- modern music that has influences in more alternative, less traditional styles, otherwise known as music that I like

Unfortunately, it is the third type of music that is prevalent in Greek society. This is not to say that I think all of these artists are horrible musicians, some of them have great voices, I just hate their choice of style. I think Christina Aguilera has an amazing voice but I hate her music. It happens. I have the same general objections to the music that is popular in American society so you shouldn’t feel so bad if you are indeed a fan of Greek pop. I just don’t have the stomach for it.

Until recently, I hadn’t really heard much music from Greek artists that wasn’t either pop or traditional. Lately, though, thanks to MySpace, I have discovered a bevy of bands in Greece who play great, original music that is more my style. At least now I can find something local I can enjoy.

Hopefully, my neighbor will learn to turn it down a bit. I’m not really sure they want to hear the likes of Sepultura or Ministry blasting in response. And I’m sure they don’t want to hear Old Rugged Cross Dressers at maximum volume.

My apologies to my sister-in-law, my brother-in-law, and any other Greeks who love Greek pop music. I just can’t stand it, I’m sorry.

*I am purposefully omitting Greek rap music, because I am trying hard to pretend it doesn’t really exist

Behold! The woman who controls the weather!

I am certain that I have some sort of power over the weather. Now that we have entered the northern Greek autumn, we pass awkwardly back and forth between clumps of rainy days and cloisters of sunny days. Every time that I think "oh, the weather is good, I think I'll do some laundry" (because here in Greece I am bereft of that all useful appliance - the clothes dryer) suddenly the forecast appears to have a spate of rainy days ahead.

This has been pretty much the way it has gone since I moved to Greece, so either Zeus is messing with me, or he has given me the weird ability to control the weather via my laundry habits.

People watching on the city street, dusk

Autumn has officially descending on Thessaloniki. We had days and days of unceasing rains and the temperature is slowly dropping - it actually gets a bit nippy at night now, with lows around 50°F (10°C). Sadly, the lowering temperatures have moved most of the cafe goers to the indoors, which makes it much more difficult to people watch.

There is still a steady stream of people on the streets though, coming and going, always moving. Thessaloniki is a city of people on the move, people waiting, people with children, and by god, people with cellphones. At any given moment on any street corner you can hear myriad one-sided conversations of all kinds.

I believe Thessaloniki is home to some of the greatest window shoppers in the world. Of course, here there are a plethora of shops on every street in the city center, with all kinds of worldly delights to catch the wandering eye. People take great pleasure in their window shopping, and will often spend quite a bit of time in front of the window of their liking - gazing, dreaming, wanting that one thing they can't have. I hear sighs sometimes, the utter pain of longing - other times I hear giggles, and every once in awhile a declaration of something that will be purchased. To all of them I wish their heart's desire.

People watching in Thessaloniki is an overwhelmingly peaceful activity, even with the rushing sounds of traffic all around. The one thing that can intrude on this quiet, contemplative pastime is a motorcycle. These machines dare to be the kings of the road - loud, invasive and with an obstreperous attitude that implies the rules don't apply to them. They ride on the sidewalks, go the wrong way on one-way streets, run traffic lights, and weave between traffic at dangerously high speeds. No wonder one of the first things I ever saw within my first month of life in Greece was a motorcyclist getting knocked off his bike by a car. I don't have a problem with motorcycles, I just don't understand why they have to be driven by the most obnoxious people in Greece.

As the sun slowly lowers towards the horizon out over the sea, it bids goodnight to our fair city. In these autumn days the sun takes its leave well before the city has borne its day, and life goes on. People keep moving, waiting, watching. I wrap myself tightly against the quickly chilling air and find my way home.

The hubby doth speaketh

My husband and I were watching a forgettable music video starring a once famous fashion model in the starring role as the "hot mom". The model is shown swimming, and then as she emerged from the pool my husband said:

"It's never good when the boobs surface first. You can't drown the person, they have so much positive buoyancy."

Hmm, maybe I better go get some work done.

My life with the wolf

October is a month of many things – the first full month of autumn, Halloween, time changes, and Breast Cancer Awareness. Yet October is also a month of awareness for a lesser publicized disease called lupus, which has two forms: Systemic Lupus Erythematosus (SLE), which most commonly affects the joints and kidneys, and can cause severe damage to the heart, lungs, liver, muscles and nervous system; and Discoid Lupus, which affects only the skin, but can, in some cases, develop into SLE.

For 30 years, the Lupus Association of America has gone to great lengths to help educate people about both forms of lupus. Currently, about 1, 500,000 people have lupus in America. 90% of people diagnosed with lupus are women, and 80% of people diagnosed are between the ages of 15 and 45. Lupus is two to three times more common among African Americans, Hispanics, Asians, and Latin Americans. There are currently no known causes for lupus. Research has shown certain predispositions for the illness, although environmental factors can trigger the disease. Lupus is not contagious in any way. While people can die from lupus, 80-90% of people with lupus can expect to live a normal life span.

A survey of 1000 people showed that only 38% of those polled had some knowledge of lupus, 39% had merely heard the name of the illness and 22% had never heard of the disease. Obviously, awareness of lupus is severely lacking when compared to other diseases, although knowledge has increased steadily over the past 30 years, including education for doctors about the illness. For more information about general facts and questions about lupus, please go to the LFA’s website Facts and Overview section.

I was diagnosed with SLE at the age of seven in the spring of 1977. While it had been years since the diagnosis of lupus meant a death sentence, the prevailing attitude of the time was that lupus was more deadly in children. With some damage already to my kidneys, my pediatrician took this to heart, and prescribed me a dosage of a steroid drug called prednisone that we would later learn was three times what should be given an adult with a lupus flare-up. To my doctor’s credit, he had no idea it was such an overdosage, and not much knowledge of lupus. His main concern was keeping me alive. Unfortunately, the side effects of the prednisone would change my childhood, and some of the aftereffects would change my adult life as well. My growth was stunted (I’m 5’2”, luckily my genes had destined me to be tall so I had already done a lot of growing at age 7), I swelled and gained weight like a blowfish, and my bones became soft. Not having any warning about the latter, I still played and was as active as I could be as a child with an illness, and as a result the soft ball joint of my left hip collapsed. Someday soon I will need hip replacement surgery.

As a seven year old I had little understanding about what it meant to have a chronic illness. All I knew was that I couldn’t play in the sun anymore without wearing a hat (boy, that was a major inconvenience), I grew tired easily, and my grandmother and I had matching days of the week pillboxes filled to the brim with pills. I also knew that none of the other people with lupus at the support groups were anywhere close to my age. At that time it didn’t bother me so much, but by the time I was twelve not knowing someone going through similar things was very difficult for me.

When I became a full-fledged teenager I developed a sense of defiance about my illness. In true teenage fashion, I decided my parents and my doctors were morons who knew nothing and that the whole diagnosis was a lie. So I proceeded to sit in the sun to try to get a tan, starve myself to get thin, and in general not take care of myself. My body did not react to this very well, and I spent part of the first half of my junior year in the hospital and being home schooled. Ooops.

In college I had a rather insouciant attitude about my disease. I knew what the consequences would be, but I wanted a semi-normal life. I avoided the sun, but I partied. Hard. Sometimes I stayed up for two or three days at a time. That, too, took its toll on my body. A couple of hospitalizations got me back on track.

Now that I am in my thirties, I’ve learned a lot about living with a chronic illness. With one kidney barely functioning and another that works moderately well, I’m too wise, too tired, and too disgusted by the prospect of a kidney transplant (seriously, I won’t eat food off of other people, do I really want someone else’s kidney??) to take any more risks with my body. My disease has become more like a part of my personality than an enemy combatant. A good sense of humor, tons of love and support from family and friends, and a lot of years of paying attention to what my body needs keep me sane and relatively healthy. I have had to make lots of amends and changes in my lifestyle to ensure that good health, but I’d rather do that and enjoy as long a life as possible than risk extreme sickness or death.

All that being said, I can offer a few words of wisdom to anyone who has recently been diagnosed with lupus:

- Keep your sense of humor close, and if you don’t have one, find one quick.

- Find a good rheumatologist, one that you can communicate with and feel comfortable with. Don’t be afraid to ask questions – you are paying for his/her time, make the most of it. Work with your doctor, not against him/her. If you don’t think a treatment is working, discuss it before taking matters into your own hands.

- Learn how to read your body. Understand how tired means too tired. Understand what feelings you have when you are getting ill. Get rest when you need it.

- Understand your body’s reaction to the sun, and don’t take unnecessary chances. I know this can interfere with your life, but if you are someone who likes to do a lot of outdoor activities, take the right precautions – high SPF sunscreen, hat, and reflective clothing that covers your body.

- Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it. Family and friends should be your saviors in times of need. Rely on them, keep them close, and do for them in return when you are able.

Obviously, there is more to my story of life with lupus but I’ve kept it as short as possible to keep from boring people to death. My main motive here is to share information about lupus to increase awareness of the disease. If anyone who reads this has questions, needs advice or a friendly ear with regards to lupus, feel free to email me at the contacts link or send me a message via MySpace.

If it's fall, it must be election time somewhere

No, I'm not talking about the fiercely competitive midterm elections in America which are coming up in just a few short weeks, I am talking about the humdrum local government elections which are happening in Greece over the weekend.

I am actually glad the elections are almost here, because after it is over, the cities can go back to their normal, less than efficient operations. Things change in Greek municipalities right before election time - projects get started, beautification occurs, everything is coming up roses. Too bad it is all a facade - and Greeks know better.

I'll also be glad to be rid of all the creepy candidate signs all over the place, smug, smiling, benevolent politicians staring back at me on every street corner. The current Thessaloniki mayor is running for re-election and I find his signs particularly troubling. He looks kinda like Lenny Briscoe (Jerry Orbach) from Law and Order (may he rest in peace). I have the same problems with picture posters from U.S. elections - that fake, supercilious smile isn't what is going to get me to vote for you, so please, spare us.

There are a few differences in the way campaigns are run here than in the U.S. For one thing, voting is compulsory. Can you imagine if that were the case in the U.S.? I can hear the wingnuts bitching already. Campaign commercials are also not candidate-centric, they are party centric, and while they may lash out at the mistakes the opposition has made, they aren't nearly as harsh as campaign commercials can get in the U.S. Greeks have yet to learn the value of real snark.

Another difference is the plethora of political parties with candidates in the pool. You have your conservative party, your leftist party, your socialist party, your communist party, and a host of others. Sure, the balance of power seems to shift between the conservative and leftist parties, but other parties get elected into parliament, and have at least some voice, even if it is a squeak.

All in all, I'm glad I'm not yet responsible for voting here. Greek politics contain myriad problems, quagmires, and no one actually seems to know how to run a government. All this and voting is compulsory. Yeowch.

I'm not here just to rag on the Greek government. I think things are holding out ok considering it was a mere 30 years ago that there was a coup here. I have hope that things will get better, although holding on to that hope is difficult. But the people of Greece deserve a strong, functioning, healthy country. The politicians should work harder to make sure that happens. Creepy smiles and public works just aren't going to cut it.

Minding your own business

I may not agree with the Turkish need to deny the Armenian holocaust, but honestly, what business is it of the French to make it illegal to deny it? Now, it is unlikely (I hope) that this bill will make it all the way into law in France, but I think this marks a high point in the whole "getting in each other's business" Western countries seem to be so good at lately. I know France and Turkey have some kind of snotty bitchfest going on with each other lately, but this goes past ridiculous.

Yes, I realize it is illegal in Germany, and perhaps other European countries, to deny the Nazi holocaust of WWII, so there is precedent for this sort of law. But I can't say I agree with that law either. I know a big part of it stems from guilt - and there should be some guilt there - but if people want their delusions, well, it shouldn't be illegal. And if you say that denying the holocaust (any holocaust) is hate speech and so that is why it is illegal, I don't buy into that either. Now if the denial of the holocaust is followed by some vitriolic invective against Jews or some other race, there is the hate speech. Not the denial of the holocaust. But I have my own problems with hate speech laws, so lets not even go there.

This is the one big problem with freedom of speech in the Western world. It works, just as long as you don't offend anybody. Just as long as you don't speak untruths about genocide. Just so long as you agree with the status quo. Is that freedom, or control? So if the Turks want to maintain that while lots of Armenians died during WWI there was no holocaust, let them have their delusions. It should be their right to protect their own history, true or not.

I'm so peeved

Danea has tagged me for this top six pet peeves meme, and after careful thought, I have picked the six most annoying things (out of a cast of thousands).

1) Telling me to do something I am already in the process of doing or have plans to do. I know what needs to be done. I don’t need someone telling me.

2) Car alarms. I’m sure I’m more sensitive to them since I live in the city center, but geez people. I know you think you need the extra security, but when the darn thing is so friggin’ sensitive it goes off when my husband farts six floors up, it does you absolutely no good.

3) Smokers. Now, I’m the last person to say that someone can’t do what they want to do. If people want to smoke, that is their business, and I believe they should have the right to smoke. But I think smokers should be banished to their own homes and not be able to smoke anywhere, even outside, that is a public place. I could make a couple of exceptions for bars and nightclubs, but not restaurants. The problem with smoking is that you can’t keep it to yourself. When you smoke, it infiltrates the people (and the clothes of the people) around you. And let’s not even get into everything that has been discovered regarding secondhand smoke. So, if you want to take that addictive drag of tobacco, I don’t mind, as long as it isn’t anywhere near me. Unfortunately, that will never be a reality for me here in Greece, since a huge percentage of the population smokes, including the young ‘uns, so the smokers won’t be dying off anytime soon.

4) People who don’t have enough friggin’ sense to understand the simple logic involved in getting on elevators. I know it all seems like magic – you press a button and suddenly (ok, eventually) doors open to a fantastic world that somehow teleports you up or down without using leg power on the stairs. However, if there are people in that fantastic world, and they wish to exit said world (who can imagine why someone would actually leave such a place), then you need to get the hell out of the way and let them pass before shoving your scrawny ass into the elevator. It is really quite simple. I bet even Paris Hilton has figured that one out.

5) The gene that somehow renders men unable to hear, comprehend, and respond to the frequency of their wife’s voice. This is the same gene that makes them think, for some strange reason, that if they say “I love you” they are off the hook. Nope.

6) Going into the bathroom and finding only a square of toilet paper on the roll. Going to get ice and finding no ice. Finding empty boxes of baggies on top of the fridge as if they are still full. Reaching for a paper towel only to find the roll empty. Wanting a bottle of water from the fridge only to find them still packed. Sure, I could blame all these on my husband, but sometimes I am the guilty party, only to have it come back and bite me in the ass. However, hubby is the guilty one 95% of the time. Ok, maybe 75% of the time. But still…

I won’t tag anyone for this, but if you want to do it, do it. It feels good to get these things off your chest.

It isn't even Halloween yet people!

I've gotten a half dozen hits to the blog in the past few days from people searching for "Christmas porn".

Sheesh people, it is still October! It is too early for Christmas porn! Go search for Halloween porn or Thanksgiving porn or something. We all know you aren't supposed to look for Christmas porn until after Thanksgiving.

No more Kofi

As of December 31st, Kofi Annan will no longer be the secretary general of the U.N. Taking his place will be South Korea's Ban Ki-Moon, an ironic twist considering North Korea's controversial nuclear weapons testing this weekend.

People are saying that Ban will be more low key than Annan, more of an administrator than a spokesman. However, I will miss Annan, as my dreams of a UN themed coffee house will go splat with the loss of the signature drink, Coffee Annan.

Speaking of replacements, I am also going to miss super kyoot Japanese PM Junichiro Koizumi, who is being replaced by Shinzo Abe, an alleged nationalist who could shake things up for our Eastern friends. Conspiracy theories abound around him, including a strong Japan-US alliance to keep China at bay. China certainly is a country to keep an eye on, but so far Abe has remained a cool diplomat, even acknowledging past ill doings of the Japanese government against the Chinese. Time will tell, but let's hope the situation in the East doesn't heat up more than it already has.

She might be a humanitarian, but...

Angelina Jolie's bodyguard is at it again. Apparently, photographers trying to take pictures of Jolie and boytoy Brad Pitt in India are getting strongarmed by the humanitarian's bodyguard. British photographer Sam Relph was nearly strangled by Ms. Jolie's bodyguard after trying to take a picture of the worldly couple.

I do have some sympathy for celebrities who are blitzed by paparazzi 24/7, but at the same time, isn't that the cross you bear for fame? Honestly, I think stars who aren't stalked by paparazzi should be a bit worried, because that means no one gives a damn. This isn't the first incident of a Jolie bodyguard roughing someone up either, which makes me wonder how deep her humanitarian roots go. It is one thing to go about the world trying to make a difference, and another thing entirely if you order your bodyguard to kill someone if they try to take your picture. It is kind of like getting a Nobel Peace Prize and ordering hits on people that look at you funny.

If it is a catastrophe, it must be biblical

Many areas of Greece have been hit with torrential rainfall over the past 24 hours, along with dropping temperatures and real fall-like weather. Unfortunately, due to Greece's geography, what with all the mountains and flood plains, many areas have been hit with flooding. This is a sad fact of life in Greece when the rains come in autumn, and lasts through the seasons into winter and part of spring. I suppose this is why the Greek word for summer is καλοκαίρι, which means good weather - thankfully, Greece is blessed with three months (or more) of generally rain-free weather.

Watching the dramatic news coverage of the flooding today I couldn't help but notice, for the ten thousandth time, that every catastrophe of such proportions is deemed by the Greek press as a "biblical" catastrophe. Doesn't matter where it occured - the earthquake in the Middle East? Biblical catastrophe. The tsunami? Biblical. Hurricane Katrina? Yep, biblical. The bombing of Lebanon? Oh yea, it's biblical. Plane crash? Oh wait, they didn't have planes in biblical times. Oops.

I am certainly not making light of what any of these people have gone through, although it seems the Greek media does by labelling everything a biblical catastrophe. Some things just happen. A confluence of science, nature, and bad luck come together and cause these events. Yes, they are catastrophic to the people who are affected. But they aren't wrath of God, Noah's flood type occurrences. In fact, I would say that in general, any area of Greece that is a flood plain (or an inhabited riverbed) that gets flooded is quite far from a biblical catastrophe. It is pretty much a man made catastrophe.

All that being said, I hope that Greece doesn't experience many catastrophes in the upcoming seasons, biblical or otherwise. That goes for the rest of the world, too.

Life on Mars

In true form to my absolute geekiness, I have to share these latest photos from the Mars rover and point you to the awesome multimedia presentation (you'll have to excuse the dorky rock anthem that goes along with it) of pictures from the rover, which is in the upper right of the same page.

Mars looks good, very desert-like, but totally habitable. We should just send some denizens of desert regions in the U.S. to check it out, see if they can stand it. Maybe they can adapt somehow. Wouldn't that be awesome?

At the very least, it is nice to see that NASA is actually doing something cool in the quest to learn about other planets. If only they could figure out warp drive, we'd be set.

Everything looks better in pink

Today I washed our new pink and red striped sheets. When I opened the washing machine after the cycle was done, my eyes widened when I saw a couple of things that were not part of the sheet set staring up at me. Apparently, I had left some of my husband's underwear in the machine, unbeknownst to myself. I carefully removed the monstrosities from the machine, holding them as if they contained C4 that could explode with the slightest movement (pretty much the same way I handle his underwear before I put it in the wash). For a second, I had a brief hope that maybe my husband wouldn't notice that his underwear was now a subtle shade of pastel. Then I remembered that he isn't blind.

He'll look right pretty in them pink underwear.

Heavy petting

Last night as I was flipping channels I came across a show on VH1 entitled "The Fabulous Lives of Celebrity Pets". Since I'm always attracked to the bizarre spending habits of the rich and famous I thought I'd give the show a look-see.

Most of it was as I figured - extravagant spending on things cats and dogs couldn't give a rat's ass about. $15,000 dog houses, $10,000 dog beds, perfume for dogs, bling for animals of all types, overpriced animal carriers and of course, clothing of all kinds. I don't have an issue with putting funny suits on animals for purposes of laughter and mocking, but dressing your dogs every day, especially with little booties, is just downright cruel. If it isn't bad enough that we are domesticating animals meant to be free in the wild, do we really need to dress them up? I love my cats, but even if I had a celebrity pocketbook I doubt I would buy such things. My cats are happy with a soft pillow and a feather on a stick. Why buy them a fancy bed they will never sleep on and jewelry they just want to get the hell off?

But the thing that really got to me in this show was something I hadn't yet heard of before - animal massages. Yes, we can now all take Fluffy and Spot for therapeutic massages for the low, low price of $250 an hour. The funny thing is, I thought we already did this for our pets. It is called petting them.

They always say a fool and his money are soon parted. Maybe that should be amended to say a celebrity and his money are soon parted. I just wish I had gotten on the animal massage train myself. I could so deal with $250 an hour to pet animals.

A trail of blood

My sister-in-law left for Sweden today, where she will freeze her ass off in the study of all things Swedish and hopefully continuing her pediatric specialization. On Monday we took her to our latest favorite restaurant in Thessaloniki - Κουρδιστό Γουρούνι (The Wound Up Pig), and for once, she had to wait for our arrival. When we sat down, she said that she was going to sit on the marble wall facing Agia Sophia, but there was blood all over it. Bloody handprints, pools of blood, spray, and a bloody cloth - all over the marble and the street. While we were eating our dinner, we saw a guy with a walkie talkie looking at the bloody area, and a cleanup crew arrived promptly to pressure spray the entire area clean.

Later, my husband told me actually had seen bloody footprints either leading to or from the scene with all the blood - footprints that ended abruptly on the curb, as if someone had gotten in or out of a car.

Is this the kind of scene you just wash away without trying to figure out what happened?

Life is just a game

I’m trying to figure out why gaming companies are so desperate to attract female gamers they resort to inane ideas like pink Playstations and the Frag Dolls (a group of women hired by Ubisoft to promote women gamers). I can see why companies want to expand their market, but they act like they don’t understand why there aren’t more female gamers.

I’m going to risk pissing off a gaggle of feminists by saying that women in general are likely not disposed to sitting and staring at a computer for huge stretches of time, even if they are having fun. I have played video games in one form or another since my daddy could plop me on a stool in front of a pinball game, and I’ve faced just as much derision for being a girl trying to play video games when the boys around me felt threatened by my mad skillz. But I also got plenty of “cool, a chick who likes video games!” commentary to balance it all out. I have logged many hours at the computer, playing a variety of games from FPS to MMORPG to RTS, and I have enjoyed them all. However, I find I get a wee bit antsy, cranky and impatient if I sit at the machine for too damn long. If I sit down at the computer and get up periodically to do various things, then it doesn’t bother me as much. So I’d have to say that women have too much going on in their lives to sit at a friggin’ computer for 12+ hours a day. I just can’t do it, unless I’m working, and that is a whole different story.

The thing is, when it comes to gaming, some people (male and female) are going to play games while others don’t. Since the gaming industry is a multi-billion dollar market already I don’t see why it matters so much to split the industry in two by gender. Girls play the same games as boys do. Some of them play just as much as the boys. Pink Playstations and feminist guerilla gaming groups aren’t going to change things much.

The gaming industry can develop all sorts of new games that are more tailored to the feminine mind, but I think in the end they are going to find the same problems they have encountered with other games – girls just get tired of them after a certain amount of time, especially teenage girls. Unless you invent a game that actually takes them to a mall and gives them unlimited spending with a plethora of kyoot boys walking around in the background, I don’t think gaming companies will have much success.

Those that can't do, teach. Those that can't teach go on strike.

Let me preface this post by saying that I am a staunch advocate of the teaching profession. I believe that teachers as a whole are undervalued, underappreciated, and underpaid for what they do. I’ve been friends with a few elementary school teachers, and I’ve witnessed the care and effort they put into their classroom and students.

All that being said, I am disgusted at the opprobrious actions of elementary school teachers in Greece, and the secondary teachers might just garner a bit of my ire as well, depending on their behavior in the upcoming week. Elementary school teachers are now starting their third week of strikes, and secondary teachers are staging a 48-hour strike as of Monday. The reason? Teachers want the Greek government to increase educational spending to 5% of GDP, which isn’t an unreasonable demand. But they also want a nearly 50% increase in their monthly pay, raising their 900 euro paycheck to 1400 euros.

Unfortunately, here in Greece teachers aren’t made up entirely of people who choose the profession voluntary. For some teachers it is the luck of the draw – or the luck of their national exam scores and what university spots they are offered. Better to be a public servant who can never get fired than unemployed, right? Sure, I can’t blame them for that. Employment in Greece is very difficult to find. But if being a teacher is your lot in life, then you damned well better step up, because educating the youth of the world is probably one of the most important things anyone can do.

I can accept teachers striking for a day or two, to make their voices heard. But any teacher who actually cares about their students and about their job as an educator could not, in good conscience, strike for three weeks – especially given the extravagant demands they are making. You have to assume teachers are at least somewhat intelligent, and so if they live in Greece, they know damn well the government can’t afford to increase anyone’s pay by that much. Do I think 900 euros a month is a paltry sum for teachers? Yes and no. It is considered a living wage here in Greece, where average monthly salaries seem to hover around 700 euros a month or so. Not to mention they get paid during the summer months as well, when they are not actively working, and as a civil servant they have automatic tenure. Personally, I would be happy to make 900 a month as a teacher here. Would I want more? Of course, wouldn’t everyone? But I wouldn’t see the prudence in striking for three weeks (or more) for any terms, let alone unreasonably lofty demands that are impossible to meet.

In the end, what is happening is a subtle form of terrorism. The teachers are basically holding the Greek government, and the students, hostage. While I am sure that there are some genuinely decent teachers in the mix, I am disappointed and appalled that any teacher would engage in such actions. Honestly, at this point I have serious doubts about the integrity and ethics of teachers in Greece. This isn’t an honorable strike. It is an avaricious strike, with tragic victims – Greece’s children. I certainly hope the matter can be resolved soon, for the good of all. Greece’s future is riding on it.