Monday, April 10, 2006

The scary pigeon did it

I’ve discovered a clear disadvantage to living on the 6th floor – pigeons. Now to most American folks the 6th floor doesn’t seem that high up, but in Greece, most buildings tend to be only seven or eight floors high, so the 6th floor is prime real estate for the pigeons that flock the city.

I’ve tried to keep them at bay by leaving our awning as far down as it will go without interrupting our satellite reception. Apparently this tactic simply does not work, as some pigeons seem to have taken residence on top of our outside air-conditioning unit. This is a great location for them, because when I have the shutters open they have the advantage of craning one eye downwards, mockingly, at three very interested cats who have absolutely no way of getting to this most delicious prey. I’m quite sure these pigeons know exactly what they are doing and what dangers are involved should they get within paw reach of these cats, and I am also sure that they are aware that the lady of the house does not approve of their presence on her balcony.

I wouldn’t mind their new found habitat if it didn’t involve bird crap on our laundry, feathers everywhere, and the incessant chatter. Pigeons have to have the worst speech of any bird, because their chorus is singular, only occasionally sung in a different pitch. It isn’t mellifluous or pleasant like chirping, it is monotone and dull, constantly repeating the same refrain. I feel like I’m stuck in some nightmare marathon of John Cage or Riley’s In C. Not only that, but these birds, who feel the need to have intense philosophical discussions at seven in the morning, have to speak loudly enough so their friends across the street can hear them. If they want to chat, why can’t they all fly to the same damn place? It isn’t like it is difficult for them to travel. Besides, what in the hell do they have to talk about? They are birds. They fly around scoping out newly washed cars to poop on. That’s hardly fodder for a thirty minute conversation, unless they are like the Ents in Lord of the Rings, and it takes them days to speak a simple greeting.

All I know is we are on the verge of an all out war. If only the pigeons didn’t have the upper hand by realizing I am afraid of them. Hey, if a pigeon flew right up to you while you were hanging out the laundry you would scream too. I don’t appreciate it when birds taunt me. But I do have a secret weapon – cats, and one of them is quite skilled at hunting. She can bring down a fly with a simple flip of a paw. Not to mention she likes to keep her prey alive long enough to torture it while she plays with it. I’d hate to see what she might do to a pigeon. It would be quite unfortunate if the cats were accidentally left to roam on the balcony unchecked.

Quite unfortunate.

6 comments:

The SeaWitch said...

Unbelievable. I was all set to relate my pigeon story on my blog and you beat me to it. LOL For the past 2 weeks, I thought a pigeon was nesting in the air vent in our master bathroom. It was making so much noise, I thought there had to be a couple of them in there. So I went up to our terrace to see if I could find out which shaft it flew into so I could somehow get it out of there. No such luck. Then on Saturday, there was no noise in the air vent. So I thought it must have gotten out. I was so not prepared for what we found. The bird had DIED in there! My husband unscrewed the grating and out dropped the dead bird along with the maggots feasting on it. It was horrifying. I used almost a litre of Chlorine scouring the bathroom after that and then lit 6 blueberry scented candles to make the smell disappear faster.
There. I just had to tell someone my pigeon horror story. LOL

In my home city in Canada, the tenants of high rises used to buy owl decoys to scare off the pigeons. My dad also says that if you loosely tie a length of string on the balcony railings, the pigeons won't land on the railings. In Athens, people just tie a bunch of plastic bags on the railings to deter them from landing.

Kassandra said...

My roomate used to shoot at them with a water gun to scare them off. I did not approve (I actually find their coos soothing, and was unsure whether this water method could adversely affect the birds' health) but I suppose if you get desperate enough it's worth a try.
P.S. Seawitch: Ewww ewww ewww ewww EWWWWWWW!!!!!! Thanks a lot! :P

The SeaWitch said...

Kass...just be thankful I DIDN'T post it on my blog because I would have put a picture along with it. LOL

melusina said...

Ugh SeaWitch. There is nothing worse than a creature dying within the walls or vents of your home. I've experienced it way too many times, I guess it's a real problem in the American South, lol. The maggots would have done it for me. I'm glad I don't have to see a picture.

A length of string on the railing is a good idea, although that won't keep them off the air conditioner or the satellite dish or the clothesline. Stupid birds.

Cynthia Rae said...

In the book "City of Falling Angels" the author talks about the nasty birds. I was surprised at some of he said, like pigeons are the only birds who make their nests out of their own poo! YUCK! I will NEVER stand in San Marco's Square (in Venice) and let these birds stand on my arms again!


Best wishes to your cats. I hope one day they let the birds know who the real boss is!

Cyn

Anonymous said...

No conspiracy. The other pigeons eat them. Nothing left. (Rodents with wings)