Denizens of Vienna are being offered a tax exemption and a bag of "goodies" for their beloved pet dogs - if the pet owners can pass a two hour "test" of dog ownership. The test contains two parts - a written exam and a practical exam, which entails a walk with the dog around the city. Examiners are looking for responsible dog owners - ones who understand dogs and the responsibility of having dogs, which basically means people who speak the secret language of dog and pick up their dog's poop and know how to keep their dogs quiet.
The people who pass the exam get a tax exemption of 43.60 euros along with coupons for dog related items.
I have to wonder, could I pass a similar cat exam? I'm thinking no. Sure, I've had three cats for ten years, but it is more like they own me. I can't make them behave and they all have freakish psychological problems. One of them I am certain is an alien, who frequently makes contact with her mother ship, teaching the alien race all about humans. One of them is a 25 pound fatty who can't seem to understand the concept of inertia. One of them is a 5 pound tiny little freak of nature who almost never speaks but could be Satan. Still, do I have enough understanding of these cats to pass a written exam? Hardly. And I can't imagine taking them on a walk through the city. That would certainly be a disaster. Their breath alone would keep people out of our path. Generally speaking, I think the world is a better place if strangers aren't introduced to these cats, even if it entails a 43 euro tax deduction per cat.
The best part of this story, however, is the typo at the end of the English translation:
As per the opinion poll, 85% of the Viennese viewed licenses to own a god in a positive way.
I would think most people would view licenses to own a god in a positive way, but I could be wrong. Although I'm not sure which god I would want. Maybe Loki. Or Apollo. Dionysus, perhaps. Anubis, even. It would be difficult choice, so I'll hold out on getting my god license for now.
3 comments:
hey, we have a dog and are part-time residents in Vienna, and I have to say this is news to me!
For sure it's ridiculous to take a test on what it means when a dog wags its tail. BUT: could it be that the focus of the test is really elsewhere: like on picking up poop off the Viennese pavements? Because this, believe me, is a HUGE problem in Vienna. YOu can't walk 2 meters without stepping into dog-poop. Yes there is a law against this but no one (literally) gives a shit. So from the way I see this maybe this test is part of an overall campaign in which dog-owners need to be trained & not the dogs ;)
As per the opinion poll, 85% of the Viennese viewed licenses to own a god in a positive way.
i loved this cute mistake
of yours,,, have been rolling
aroynd laughing for hours.
===== zardoz ======
Alice, I can imagine. I think dog poop on the streets is a pretty universal thing. Although it seems to indicate this exam isn't mandatory, but a tax incentive might move some people to action. Of course, they can pick up the poop to pass the exam and still not care afterwards. Nice pun, by the way.
Zardoz, you are an easy laugh! Hehe.
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