In which I continue to humilate my husband

My husband talks in his sleep. I don’t mean an occasional mmhmm or uhuh, oh no, that would be too simple for our life. Typically, I stay awake reading long after my husband has fallen asleep. Every once in awhile, I am surprised to find him sitting upright, eyes wide open, looking at me, as if he wants to say something.

ME: Are you ok?

HUBBY: Claws too from there

This makes tiny springs erupt from my brain and hit the inside of my skull. I proceed cautiously.

ME: What?!???

HUBBY: It true from now. Ok and then.

He looks at me curiously, desperate to get his message across.

ME: (giggling a bit) Babe, I don’t understand you.

HUBBY: Wiesel fizzle whats

ME: (laughing) OK, I see. Go back to sleep.

At which point he gives me a look of relief, falls again to his pillow and resumes snoring immediately.

Now, while I do indeed find it amusing, I also find it a bit creepy. I have come across these sleep talkers before, and they all act the same, wide awake, as if they have some sort of message to convey. Of course, none of them have any memory of the episode, and nothing they say while sleeptalking makes an iota of sense. I’m certain that even if no one else was around, they would still do the same thing.

Personally, I like to think my dreams make perfect sense, and that if I suddenly awoke in the middle of one and tried to talk about it people would understand me. But perhaps not. What exactly is our brain doing, and why does it make some people wake up, seemingly wide awake, and need to talk? I could get really creative and paranoid and say these people are being mind-controlled by aliens, but since I make sure my husband and our three cats wear their aluminum helmets at all times, I know this isn’t possible. When people sleeptalk, is it actually residue from a dream, or is the dream still going on, and thus the language centers in the brain can’t put coherent sentences together?

All I know is once my husband goes back to sleep, I get a case of the willies. He acts so awake, so sentient, and yet apparently, he was asleep the entire time. I don’t know what it is about the idea of someone being asleep yet interactive in the waking world that creeps me out, but it seems like some sort of line you shouldn’t cross. Like being a zombie, or something. And what happens if you get stuck in the waking world while you are still asleep? Creepy thought, isn’t it?

For now, I’ll have to keep a record of my husband’s nonsensical verbiage, just in case it is a message from beyond. Maybe someday I’ll figure out what exactly wiesel fizzle whats means.