Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Not something you wanna hear when giving birth

Rosario said: "I got scared when the nurses said: 'Oh my God!'.

These nurses were reacting to a 15 lb, 22 inch long baby that was born in Spain recently. For me, had I heard such words I would have immediately assumed some sort of hornage or alien features on my newborn.

I realize I've often said I'd like to give birth to a fully grown child, but I mean it in the manner of Athena springing from Zeus' head, not in the manner of an unusually large watermelon springing forth from a vagina. I'd like to keep it separate from my anus, thankyouverymuch. In my opinion, any woman who has a vaginal birth of an exceptionally large baby deserves sainthood, or at the very least a medal. Yeeshk.

4 comments:

Gia-Gina said...

I am deathy afraid of this. It is no secret that we are "trying" but this story puts fear into my very core. Esp. when my 5'4" friend, I am 5'7", had a big baby about 3 years ago. He is 8.5 pounds, not giant but she could not walk for 2 weeks, can you say 2nd degree tears? Ouch.

Anonymous said...

Birth is hell. You cannot believe what you went through to give life to the little sh**s... I mean angels. But the female brain is remarkable. For a month before and two months after the horrendous event that IS birth, your brain is reduced to the size of a plum. Therefore you will not remember how fu**ing awful it all was but if you do, all you will be able to say about it is "Ah but they're worth it, Let's have another one" I am joking but there is a grain of truth. Somewhere.

Anonymous said...

ZARDOZ SAYS :

Hope your mr THANOS is better,,
I know men are supposed to shut up
when women speak of having birth
but i had never heard of such an
overdeveloper,,,, female nature
still leaves me . . . awed.


=== z ===

christina said...

Oh man, 15 lbs??? My last baby was a 9-pounder and that was interesting enough for me. :-)