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This is a day late and a dollar short, but a very cool alternate view of Wednesday's eclipse, provided by NASA.
Fifteen years ago today, I was a typical twenty-one year old college student. Carefree, reckless, and like most of my peers, seemingly immortal. Imagine my shock, when, on this day fifteen years ago, I found out that my best friend and his roommate were killed by a drunk driver. This was something that shouldn’t happen to us, couldn’t happen to us, yet it did.
At the time the grief was so overwhelming, so unstoppable, I sunk into a depression and eventually a sickness of my own. I spent days, weeks, months, imagining my friend, who had been supine in the back seat of the car, falling asleep on the trip home that night and never waking up again. I imagined the force of the impact as the drunk driver hit them head on after entering the interstate the wrong direction. I imagined the weight of the luggage crushing my friend, the injuries not relating to the impact of the crash that killed him. I replayed it thousands of times in my head, and spent a lot of time imagining all the scenarios that would have led, instead, to my friend arriving home safe and sound. I zealously went to his grave every week with red and white roses, symbolizing friendship, to place at his headstone. I saw him and heard him everywhere, all around me, and every time I closed my eyes I saw him at our last meeting, in the stairwell of the Humanities building at
After fifteen years I can’t say I’m over his death, and I don’t expect I ever will be. My thoughts on a day to day basis are no longer focused on him, sure, but he is, as his gravestone read, forever in my heart. He was responsible for awakening me from a dreamless sleep, a sterile, mindless existence that I had plunged into as a result of a cynical and depressed outlook on life. He taught me how to live again and yet, he had to die. I will never understand why.
I also can’t seem to find it in my heart to forgive the drunk driver responsible for their tragic accident. I’m not a religious person, it isn’t mandate for me to forgive, but I still feel a moral responsibility to forgive, yet I can’t. Even the fact that the drunk driver was sixteen years old doesn’t help me, in fact, it makes me even more angry. Why a sixteen year old was allowed to drive in the first place, since he was on allergy medicine, blows my mind. The fact that this sixteen year old also decided to imbibe alcohol on top of the allergy medicine makes the crime unforgiveable. And the death of the sixteen year old in the same accident does not settle the score. Why can’t I feel sorry for the kid and his family? Why can’t I forgive and move on? Why are my mind and heart so small in this case?
I suppose I’ll never come to terms with the answers to these questions or the death of my friend. For now I will simply remember him with love and fondness, and hope that some day I will learn to forgive.
In a ruling by a first-instance court in
Obviously, the
“I support everybody’s right to practice their faith, whichever it may be, without hindrance,” said Apostolos Vrachiolidis, a journalist and one of the founding members of the association. Members of the group deny that they engage in idolatry. “We simply want to worship the gods of our ancestors freely,” a member who preferred to remain anonymous told Kathimerini.
Personally, I can get on board with such a group. I’ve always been particularly fond of Zeus and his cronies, their jolly antics and warmongering ways. Still, what of the gods and goddesses beyond the 12? There is a rich pantheon full of deities to suit every need, not limited to just the 12. I guess it is best to start with the 12 and branch out, because a lot of them might be a bit shy to re-emerge after Christianity smashed them all to bits. At any rate, I’m glad to see that there are people in
I am one of those people who is violently anti-vegetable. I blame my mother for this, because if it hadn’t been for her dire need to make sure my brothers and I only ate wholesome, nutritious foods and never were able to eat anything fun I surely would be eating my vegetables now. I’m not prejudiced against all vegetables, most fresh, uncooked vegetables I can endure, if not enjoy (hey, I’ll always eat a salad as long as I don’t have to chop all that crap for myself), and I’ve been known for my deep personal relationship with okra and tomatoes, ah, what a torrid affair. Many cooked vegetables I can eat politely and even manage to nod my head and smile, but there are three members of the vegetable world that I despise so enduringly that no amount of manners can keep me at a table within fifty yards of their presence (at least, that is what the restraining order says).
My three vegetable arch nemeses are brussel sprouts (hey, does anyone really like these nasty ass tiny pretending to be cute little cabbages things?), lima beans (oh for the love of god, this stuff is so soft and mashy and so not as good as a potato), and peas. Oh yes, I know, peas, those cute little round green things that come in a pod and are soft and sweet and all babies love them. I’ll have you know that those cute little round things are certainly devil’s seed, and I’ll not have them near me. They are small, they have a weird consistency and they roll all around your plate and fall off your fork and get mashed down on the floor because even the cats won’t eat the damned things. I hate, hate, HATE peas.
So imagine my utter horror when, enjoying a McVeggie burger from McDonald’s, after a couple of bites I look down and see a whole McPea staring me in the face. I’m not an idiot, I mean, I know veggie burgers are simply mashed up vegetables in a tasty fried hamburger shaped patty, but I pretend I don’t understand this. I get along quite well with veggie burgers as long as no whole vegetables pop out of them. And yet here I was, face to face with the third horseman of the vegetable apocalypse, the Pea.
My first instinct was to fling the sandwich across the room, scream bloody murder, and run haphazardly out of the apartment, down the stairs, and into the streets of
I washed my hands repeatedly, desperately trying to remove the feeling of what it was like to touch a pea. So small, so delicate, and so, so evil. I should have crushed it between my fingers when I had the chance, but surely the stain of pea blood on my hands would never wash away, and I’d be forced to quote Shakespeare for the rest of my life.
After having survived the incident, I am only a little bit worse for wear. I’m not sure I have the strength to face another McVeggie burger again, but we’ll see. With hope and understanding, maybe the pea and I can learn to get along. But not today.
My husband and I are quite fond of DVDs, and have quite a nice collection going. Every couple of months, if our budget allows, we like to add new titles. We are both as fond of TV shows as movies, and have collected several complete sets of our favorite television shows – including X-Files, Friends, and Star Trek: TNG. Yes, we are indeed geeks.
I have a few rules, though, when it comes to DVD purchases. I won’t pay more than 15 euros for a movie and no more than 35 euros for a TV season (unless of course it something we are dying for, like when the new Seinfeld seasons are released). I’ve noticed over the years of DVD purchasing that frequently prices will drop significantly after a certain amount of time has passed, so I can usually get things for the prices I want. The downside is we have to wait.
After doing a scan for our TV show collections in progress (Law & Order, Scrubs, Northern Exposure) and finding them all well above my price requirement, I decided to start looking for a new favorite. Not wanting to sift through pages and pages of DVD titles, I put in a few off the top of my head: Moonlighting, St. Elsewhere, and finally, Miami Vice. Bingo! The first season of Miami Vice was well within my price range, and after consulting with my husband and extolling the virtues of the show, the order was placed (along with Field of Dreams and Never Let Me Go by Ishiguro).
Now, I know what you are thinking. What virtues can Miami Vice possibly have? It was a cheesy cop show from the 80’s, right?
My answer to that is yes and no. Sure, it has copious amounts of cheese. Tons of melodrama and overacting. Unrealistic scenarios. I actually had a friend who was so addicted to the show he went to
Now, I could go on, but I won’t. I’ll spare everyone anymore shameless blather about this 80’s TV show. That’s right, I feel no shame. I’m a product of the 80’s, and damn proud of it!
I recently had the pleasure of reading my first Philip K. Dick novel. I feel pretty secure in saying pleasure, even though I’m not entirely sure of my final reaction to the book. The Man in the High Castle is about an
There are a handful of characters representing various backgrounds in the novel and we get to know them well, in each case following them through a journey of sorts, some more intense than others. Dick does an excellent job following through with each character, and twisting the novel within the novel throughout the storyline. What starts to be a horrifying alternate reality ends up reflecting on the true modern world – mirroring back and forth and back and forth until the end, which I won’t spoil for anyone. Ultimately it is the ending I am unsure of – it will probably require a second reading for me to make up my mind on whether it is an ending of pure genius or a postmodern copout.
I like Dick’s writing style, although sometimes his predilection for succinctness irritates me. Not that he excludes anything necessary in his brevity, I just felt “cut off” now and then in this work – I want to see deeper, and he does not allow it. At any rate, I look forward to reading The Simulacra and eventually trying out more Dick novels.
As I walk outside my senses are obscured. The sounds and voices I hear are familiar, but somehow strange. My sight is clouded, everything looks the same, but different. I can’t remember where I am, the blurred sights and sounds could place me anywhere. A child’s voice, laughing. A mother responding in kind. Car horns honking, traffic sounds. Dogs barking in the distance. Is it
My vision clears, my hearing sharpens. I do not recognize the language the people speak. The buildings aren’t as familiar as they seemed. The signs bear strange symbols, unfamiliar and daunting. This is not
After nearly three and a half years in
I am proud to be American. I can still say that, I don’t feel a cowering Peter, forced to deny where I once belonged, even if I don’t belong anymore. My
If we look hard enough we can see glimpses of this
This
On the literary front recently I finished In Cold Blood and A Complicated Kindness. In Cold Blood had been on my list for years and years, and the release of the movie Capote finally nudged me to go get a copy (mainly because I wanted to avoid the inevitable spoilers that might come my way). I am not sure how A Complicated Kindness ended up on my list, but I’m not sorry it did.
In Cold Blood is a mesmerizing, well-written tale about the brutal murder of a farmer’s family in
A Complicated Kindness is set in a Mennonite community in
Right now I am reading The Robots of Dawn to satisfy my increasing robot/scifi fetish. Who knows where I will end up from there.
Later in the recording, Bennish said he was not claiming Bush and Hitler were the same, "but there are some eerie similarities to the tones that they use."
This is a valid reason to put a teacher on leave? Because he told his class that there were similarities to the speeches? My economics teacher at Hume-Fogg used to make political cracks all the time, no one thought anything of it. Are we saying that today, in America, social studies and history teachers can't bring up criticisms or comparisons of the current administration with anything that happened in the past, without facing criticism, forced leave, and perhaps dismissal?Whenever I went out to eat with a male friend, it was inevitable that the waiter or waitress would set the check down in front of my friend. Sure, occasionally it would occur that the server decided to put it in a neutral position in the middle of the table, but for the most part the check ended up in front of my male companion. This action is rather benign, all things considered, but it works well to illustrate the sexism that runs rampant in American society, among men and women. A non-sexist society would always opt for the neutral placement of the check, but nope, not in
This example, of course, is not a blatant example of discrimination between the sexes. It is rather trivial, something easily corrected, although I always had to laugh if I used my credit card with my name on it and the resulting credit slip was still placed before the man.
Growing up, I would have barely recognized the difference between boys and girls if it weren’t for the common “games” kids play at a young age, revealing the physiological aspects of their different gender. My parents raised me to think that no matter what, I could do or be whatever I wanted. They didn’t force feed feminist ways or ideals into my head, they just ignored normal distinctions between the sexes. Sure, my mother wanted me to wear pretty dresses now and then, but she didn’t argue too much when I preferred pants and tshirts. So when I said I wanted to grow up to be Carl Sagan, neither of them said “but you can’t, because he is a male” or “wouldn’t you prefer to be a teacher, or a nurse?” No, instead my parents said, “well, then go be Carl Sagan.”
Ok, so I didn’t end up anything like Carl Sagan, aside from a propensity for science fiction, the search for intelligent life and a love of χορτo. It is irrelevant, however, because in my mind, had I followed that path, there would have been nothing that could stop me. While I am glad that parents raised me without seeing my gender as a limiting force, I blame them for not preparing me for what I would meet in the “real world”.
I wrote before, in a post on racism, about one of my first jobs, and my misogynistic boss. This was perhaps my first real encounter with sexism.
In my sophomore year of college I started working as a dispatcher for my college security department. The department was crawling with current and ex-military men, most of them misogynistic, several of them racist, and only a couple of them well educated. The director of security at the time (he is no longer the director and is now in fact, deceased) was himself ex-military and ignorant of mind. One of his favorite “jokes” was to laugh and say “a woman can become a patrol officer when she can piss in a cup from 6 feet away”. Now, how he actually thought a man could piss in a cup from 6 feet away is beyond me, because most of the patrol officers couldn’t even seem to aim for the toilet in the single department bathroom. This was not the only “limitation” he saw in a woman’s abilities. This man was misogynistic to the core, and felt that a woman could either be a housewife, a secretary (his assistant director was female, but she did all his dirty work, and ended up essentially a well paid secretary), a teacher or a nurse. He’d occasionally joke that women could be prostitutes and strippers as well but only if they were “stacked” and had nice bodies. He’d scoff at women students, saying he didn’t know why they bothered going to school. He was a real piece of work.
There were times that I couldn’t believe the words that came out of his mouth. Not only that, I couldn’t believe that the other officials found him amusing and even provided their own sexist comments. At one point there were only three women working there, and while I wouldn’t say anything stooped as low as sexual harassment, we certainly had to deal with a bevy of jokes in poor taste and other insults towards women. Why did we take it? I suppose because we knew that in the end, we were better than these men. We were educated, intelligent women and we weren’t going to let insensitive comments from troglodytes get us down.
In theory, I understand why women are considered the “weaker” sex, not able to do all the same things men can do. It boils down to one thing – pregnancy. Men have to protect their progeny, and the women carrying their progeny. But when you consider that most of us are only pregnant for a fraction of our life span, it just doesn’t add up. Sure, some women aren’t as strong as men. But some are stronger. Intelligence is a grab bag, based on many factors such as genetics, education, environment. I can’t think of anything that men can do that a woman can’t, aside from producing sperm. Yet still some women are paid less than men for doing the same job. Women are underrepresented in the sciences. Women lose out on law partnerships, corporate executive positions, and tenured professorships. Women are still traded as sex slaves in countries all over the world. And women are increasingly losing their right to choose an abortion.
This is not to say that sexism against men does not exist. Male nurses are often laughed at, male secretaries ridiculed. Men still bear the pressure of providing, and ignominy if they can’t provide, even if their wives provide well enough. The bottom line is that until we start to look past the lines that delineate male and female and start accepting the strengths and weaknesses of individuals rather than genders, we can hardly call ourselves civilized people. As long as we continue working towards civilization, there is hope.
As I wade through entertainment news and all the stories about who is progressing in every reality show, I solemnly realize one thing – fame has become a virtue in the 21st century Western world. Everyone seems to desire it in one way or another – from participating in a reality show to divulging secrets of the stars - fame, or at least 15 minutes of it, appears to be a driving force in human lives. People can even become famous for doing virtually nothing, as in the case of dear old Paris Hilton, along with a bevy of reality show “stars” who whore their way around in an effort to be “the last one standing”. To be fair, at least the folks on shows like American Idol must sing for their supper, so their fame is won by their talents.
At first I found this whole idea distasteful. How shallow and superficial are the virtues of fame, how empty, devoid of soul. But then I had to wonder how different is this fame from that of the ancient Greeks, who won their fame by honor and glory in battle, by being strong and resourceful leaders, by building a powerful nation? Is it unfair for me to pass opprobrious judgment on today’s standard of fame while glorifying that of the ancients?
Obviously, today we value different things than what the Greek ancestors valued. We aren’t building civilizations here, hell, we aren’t even maintaining civilizations. We live in a society that seems to value the prettiest over the smartest, we suffer day in and day out in our dour, dull lives, and thus, our entertainment, our pleasure, must be beautiful. Yet we derive enjoyment from seeing people just like us frolicking about on television, we revel in a world where anyone can be famous. We fight wars for dubious reasons, there is no code of ethics there, no honor, no expectation. Yet the virtues of the ancients aren’t necessary to maintain today’s society – or are they? Sure, our world can’t be made up of individual city-states with men who are allied together in the event that someone snubs their honor. If honor is at stake today, well, we just pretty much have to grin and bear it. Sure, there is always a guy somewhere willing to step up for his girl, but our society isn’t based on protecting and maintaining honor. I daresay our society is based on protecting and maintaining dishonor, for as long as you can get away with it.
Of course, I can’t say I want to go back to ancient times, when most women were relegated to motherhood and housekeeping, and wars were deadly and frequent. But I sure would like to live in a world that didn’t admire such a shallow and superficial fame so much. It is ok to be dazzled and interested in fame, but to hold it to the high regard we seem to hold it today is a bit unwarranted. It is sad to think that today’s Pericles earns his fame by winning a talent show – and on that note the tensile thread of civilization snaps and breaks, the remnants blowing away in the Saharan wind.
I’ve been progressing well, but slowly, in learning Greek. It is a good pace for me, since sitting and memorizing crap nonstop makes me want to poke my eyes out in an Oedipal rage. Now I realize that some things will need to be memorized, but looking at lists of endings and conjugations and pronouns is akin to looking at some kind of weird modern art, I just don’t get it. It is much easier to learn by practice, and when you see something enough you began to memorize it without really thinking about it.
I’ve been feeling pretty cocky lately as I realize I’m finally getting the hang of it. Remembering how to spell everything for my “quizzes” is much easier when you realize what endings are required for nouns and verbs and whatnot. As I prepared my “homework” for today’s lesson I felt good. I was declining nouns (is that what you say, decline nouns? I’m pretty sure you don’t conjugate them) and knew all my endings and was prepared for my lesson. Imagine my horror when reciting proudly to my mother-in-law and she looked at me sadly and said “no, I’m sorry, that’s not correct.” $*(%*!(%$)#$(#! irregular words. Irregular nouns and verbs should die in a fire.
My confidence shaken, I proceeded to recite the rest of the lesson carefully, suddenly unsure of myself again. Picking up on my distress, my mother-in-law looked at me and said “Is ok. Greek grammar…is difficult. Eh. It will come”.
She is right. It will come. But I still have a long road ahead.