Faking Reality

Firstly, I'd like to admit that I am, to some extent, a fan of Ayn Rand's literature. While most of her books can get overly melodramatic, there are some glints of reason within the texts here and there. And although I don't agree with everything in the Objectivist philosophy, one of the most sound premises I do agree with is the immorality of faking reality. It is a particularly dire kind of immorality because it hurts the self the most, along with everyone and everything you love.

At one point I consider myself guilty of faking reality, and while I am not proud of it, I own it and accept it and have moved on. I won't go into the details, but suffice to say that I spent many years pretending my life was ok when it definitely wasn't.

Of course, my experience in faking reality is not the subject of this post. For the last month or so there has been a plethora of posts, news stories, and information released about the trials of a 16-year-old boy from Memphis named Zach. After confessing to his parents that he was gay, they promptly sent him to a camp that is known for its attempts at "correcting" homosexuality.
This camp is quite strict, designer clothes and tshirts with designer names are forbidden, along with television, computers, and any type of secular music (including classical music apparently). Clients are denied contact with anyone the camp deems to be unfit.

There is a rather comprehensive story about Zach and the Love in Action Refuge camp in the New York Times, and although it requires registration to read the story, I think it is worth it. Props to Tennessee Guerilla Women for posting the link to the NY Times article.

Obviously, there are some really troubling things in the article. First, the executive director of Love In Action, John Smid, claims that he has been "out of homosexuality" for more than 20 years.

"I may see a man and say, he's handsome, he's attractive, and it might touch a part of me that is different from someone else," he said. "But it's really not an issue. Gosh, I've been married for 16 years and faithful in my marriage in every respect. I mean I don't think I could white-knuckle this ride for that long."

You have to wonder what his wife thinks, how their marriage is. This situation is a fine example of faking reality. And in the end, it seems that despite what he says, he HAS been "white knuckling the ride".

For Mr. Smid and his supporters, offering Love in Action to teenagers is vital to combat what they see as a growing tolerance of homosexuality among young people. "We just really believe that the resounding message for teenagers in our culture is, practice whatever you want, have sex however, whenever and with whoever you want," he said. "I very deeply believe that is harmful. I think exploring sexuality can lay a teenager up for numerous lifelong issues."

A growing tolerance of homosexuality is a bad thing? Why is that? We are taught we should tolerate everything in life, from different religions, different cultures, different races - why shouldn't we tolerate different sexuality? And if the resounding message for teenagers is to "have sex however, whenever, and with whoever you want" why aren't you simply trying to teach teenagers sexual responsibility, instead of trying to convince them that any type of sexuality outside of normal, procreating, missionary position is bad?

Critics of programs that seek to change sexual orientation say the programs themselves can open a person to lifelong problems, including guilt, shame and even suicidal impulses. The stakes are higher for adolescents, who are already wrestling with deep questions of identity and sexuality, mental-health experts say.

"Their identities are still in flux," said Dr. Jack Drescher, the chairman of the committee on gay, lesbian and bisexual issues of the American Psychiatric Association, which in 2000 formally rejected regimens like reparative or conversion therapy as scientifically unproven. "One serious risk for the parent to consider is that most of the people who undergo these treatments don't change. That means that most people who go through these experiences often come out feeling worse than when they went in."

I think what gets me most about programs like this is they really don't address the real problem, which is irresponsible sexuality amongst teenagers. The point is to teach them about love, about sex, and how to have sex responsibly - the issues of same sex or opposite sex intercourse shouldn't matter in the end, as long as teenagers learn the truth about sex and sexual practices.
This is a camp that basically teaches already confused, frightened, teenagers how to fake their reality for the rest of their life. So what happens then, when, after 20 years, a wife and kids, one of the "successful" campers comes to their senses and realizes they can't live the lie anymore? How many lives will be destroyed then?

In the end, I am still trying to figure out how one's sexual preference became fodder for the prejudice mill. I mean, you don't go around pointing fingers at people who like to be peed on, or spanked, or men who like to wear women's underwear. If we are going to separate the homosexuals out, then it is only fair to find out everyone's sexual nuances and have it all out in the open. In the end, really, who fucking cares? What someone does in the bedroom generally has no bearing on their work or their relationships in the world outside of their bedroom. The world is fragmented enough without persecuting people for their sexual practices.

In the end, such behavior seems completely antipodal to what Jesus' teachings were. He told us to love one another, no matter what, be they prostitutes, tax collectors, whatever.

For more information about Zach, check out the Queer Action Coalition, The Republic of T, and Tennessee Guerilla Women.