Saturday, November 05, 2005

Sperm for sale

In what has to be a joke, a website that sells all the Vincent Gallo merchandise you could ever want has offered his sperm for sale at a cost $1 million. If the purchaser would prefer natural insemination, the cost is $500,000 extra.

Mr. Gallo is 5'11" and has blue eyes. There are no known genetic deformities in his ancestry (no cripples) and no history of congenital diseases. If you have seen The Brown Bunny, you know the potential size of the genitals if it's a boy. (8 inches if he's like his father.)

Well, isn't that special. Yes, I'd like my baby boy to have a huge schlong. That is what I am looking for in my offspring.

Mr. Gallo maintains the right to refuse sale of his sperm to those of extremely dark complexions. Though a fan of Franco Harris, Derek Jeter, Lenny Kravitz and Lena Horne, Mr. Gallo does not want to be part of that type of integration. In fact, for the next 30 days, he is offering a $50,000 discount to any potential female purchaser who can prove she has naturally blonde hair and blue eyes. Anyone who can prove a direct family link to any of the German soldiers of the mid-century will also receive this discount.


Ah, and a white supremacist to boot! Now, Vincent Gallo hasn't impressed me in general with his talent. I mean, I enjoyed Buffalo 66 and all, but I have to wonder why he just doesn't get a girlfriend and have his own kid? I heard the Prussian Blue twins were available...

I'm still banking on this being a joke. Otherwise, it would seem all of Hollywood is following Mr. Cruise right to the funny farm.

7 comments:

Mike said...

Vince who?

As for the Prussian Blue girls, I think they are only 13, and I doubt even they are daft enough to want Prince Vince's offspring. Hardly in the Tom Cruise league. Yup, let's hope he just has a wacky sense of humour.

Ethnocentrist said...

While I agree with you that this whole story is rather absurd, Hollyweird style. I also find your characterization of a white man wanting to pass on his genes to a white woman (obviously a rich one) as "white supremacist" to be more than a bit slanderous and unfortunately in line with the current milieu of relentless anti-white indoctrination.

Sperm banks keep quite a detailed catalogue of their donors that includes the basic stats (height, weight, age) as well as race, nationality, Jew, Gentile, congenital family history, cancer, heart disease etc. This data is not only for them but also for the women recipients who may WANT a white sperm donor or Jew or short Greek. I see no reason why it is sacrilegious to want your offspring to be white if you are the donor and have a say so, as Gallo does(if the story really is true). Though for sperm banks, the donor has no say where the sperm goes.

Yes, I know this wasn't the gist of your post and all, though hopefully by pointing it out, you'll realize just how deep anti-white memes have been incorportated into our psyche and maybe you'll give pause the next time you run across one.

deviousdiva said...

"$50,000 discount to any potential female purchaser who can prove she has naturally blonde hair and blue eyes. Anyone who can prove a direct family link to any of the German soldiers of the mid-century will also receive this discount."

I think he himself states quite clearly that he is a white supremacist. Blond hair, blue eyes, german soldier of the mid-century? It doesn't take a genius to work it out.

Thanos said...

Haha, good lord!

I really hope this guy's site was hacked, because... I'm sorry white or black, I will agree with Ethnocentrist. He's no supremacist. The only supremacy he can lay claim on is that of supreme idiocy. Is he sure there are no faulty genes in his background? Any indbreeding. Ah me... gave me a good laugh.

I still think it's a hack by the way, but still, for any potential buyers out there, a caveat:

If you have seen The Brown Bunny, you know the potential size of the genitals if it's a boy. (8 inches if he's like his father.)

This is by NO means a sure thing. "Potential" and "if" are the keywords here. Genetics might let you down ;p

Ethnocentrist said...

Now honestly, I'm not interested at all in having this post spiral out of control as the one on SeaWitch's blog, however just to reiterate and clarify...

I think he himself states quite clearly that he is a white supremacist. Blond hair, blue eyes, german soldier of the mid-century? It doesn't take a genius to work it out.

Mr. Gallo may in fact BE a supremacist or have sympathies of the like, however wanting a Teutonic female with blonde hair and blue eyes does NOT automatically equate to supremacy. That is a nefarious meme of the current state of affairs. And again, if this story really is true, which I do question the veracity of it, then he is a moron for the reasons mentioned above (Thanos, the money, and the log quotes) and not because he wants to impregnate blondes with blue eyes. Because some people may actually find blondes with blue eyes attractive and no other "Hitlerian" reason than that.

melusina said...

Well, I, of course, was being completely sarcastic in my post. Although I do think it would take some gall (ah, a pun) to ask for one million dollars for sperm and not take everyone's money. Especially since the child won't be any concern of his in the end.

However, if you read the text it seems clearly it has to be a joke, because he goes from wanting the descendants of German soldiers to Jewish mothers due to their likely success in the entertainment industy.

Cynthia Rae said...

I guess everything has it's price!

Cyn
PS. Thanks for the kind words about my Grandma!